


The Steam Club

by rhysdelamar



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-16
Updated: 2015-05-16
Packaged: 2018-03-30 21:36:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 24,950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3952645
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rhysdelamar/pseuds/rhysdelamar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A case in a place Dean would never be caught in...</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Steam Club

 

                “So I think we got a case,” Sam announced as he came into the kitchen.

            “Thank God! Been dying here,” he replied as he flipped the pancake.

            “You appear to be in good health Dean,” he heard Cas wonder from behind. He can even imagine the small head tilt and the squinty eyes the dude makes.

            “Jus’ an expression Cas,” he smirked as he finished the pancake and put it on the plate. Sam passed him with a coffee mug as he turned to put breakfast on the table. “So where is it at?”

            “Seattle. I thinks it’s a haunting, vengeful spirit kind of thing. It’s…well,” Sam cleared his throat as if he was unsure to continue. He looked over at his brother as he took some of the pancakes and proceeded to drown them in syrup. Sam looked at him and cleared his throat again, “it’s centered around a club.”

            “A club? What so bad with that? I mean, it’s not gonna be easy to sneak in EMFs and then there’s the douchy techno crap but it ain’t hard-”

            “Umm, it’s not that kind of club Dean.”

            “Is it like the gentlemen’s club that Dean took me to when I needed to lose my virginity?” Cas asked as he carefully poured the maple syrup on his one pancake. He shot a ‘shut up’ look to the ex-angel before he smiled shamefully at Sam.

            “Uh…no. And when did…you know, never mind.” The way Sam scrunched his nose indicated how disappointed with him.

            “So what is it? Sam’s Club?” he asked trying to lighten things back up.

            “Ha ha, no.” Sam deadpanned. “It’s called The Steam Club actually…it’s a bathhouse.”

            Bathhouse? What the hell is that he thought as Cas spoke next. “Like a Japanese or Turkish one? Or is similar to the Roman thermae?” Now he is just more confused.

            Sam got what Cas was saying and shook his head, “not really, no. This bathhouse…it’s just for guys only.” Both he and Cas looked at Sam questioningly silently asking him to continue. “It’s a place for guys who like guys.”

            “Say what?” for some reason it wasn’t making sense in his head.

            Sam rolled his eyes, “it’s a gay bathhouse Dean.”

            “And what the hell is a gay bathhouse?”

            “Seriously? You’ve never heard of them before?”

            “Well I’ve never had a need to go to a gay bathhouse now have I Sam?”

            Sam nodded with his eyebrows raised, “fair enough.”

            “So what do they do there?” Cas asked looking between them.

            “Hook-up,” Sam answered calmly sipping his coffee.

            “Oh…like casual sex?” Both he and Sam nodded. “Interesting,” Cas mused before cutting another piece of the pancake to eat. He’d hate to ask what Cas found interesting about that.

            “Sooo…a haunting?” he asked while choosing the most drenched piece to pick up. “At a gay bathhouse. So we’re doing that?”

            “Three people have already died in the past two months Dean. And I think we need a chance to get out of the bunker. A hunt would do us good.” Sam brushed his hair back, “you don’t have a problem with that do you?”

            “What? No. Why would I have a problem? I completely agree that getting some fresh air would be good.” It has been almost three months since he killed Abaddon and one since the angels all went home. Shortly after that they found a way to circumnavigate the Mark of Cain and get rid of it. But at the cost of the Cas’s grace, which now left his best friend fully human. A price the ex-angel said he was happy to pay. Of course, it was their luck that Cas came down with a nasty flu his first week as a human. Then there were no hunts to be had so they’ve been twiddling their thumbs doing nothing. Still…gay bathhouse. Not his thing. “It’s just…well, it’ll be kinda different I guess.”

            “Why?” asked Cas.

            “Yeah Dean, why?” chimed in Sam who had a smirk on his face.

            “Well, cause…ya know, I don’t want to...it’s uncomfortable and weird.” As soon as the last word left his mouth he knew he made a mistake.

            “Not every gay guy wants to get in your pants Dean.” Sam scolded while crossing his arms. Cas looked at Sam then him looking lost.

            “It’s not like that Sam. It’s well, I’m all for the ladies. Got no problem if some gay dudes want to get it on with me.” He turned to Cas, “’cause I am adorable,” he winked. Cas squinted his eyes at him again before shrugging it off. Though he couldn’t see it, he can feel Sam rolling his eyes.

            “Good then, so you won’t have a problem scoping the place out then?”

            “Naw. Hit the road in a few?”

            “Sounds good,” Sam replied as he got up.

* * *

 

 

            Traffic. He hated it. Baby was meant to race across the wide open American road. Not be stuck in bumper to bumper traffic with idiots who don’t know how to drive. Especially in the rain. “Ah c’mon!” he yelled at the yet another car trying to get into his lane. Powerless though, he gripped the steering wheel, “please tell me we’re close.”

            Cas held up the map beside him in the passenger seat since Sam decided to take a nap for the last leg of the trip. However, the snoring giant woke up when he started cursing the traffic in louder and more imaginative curses. “I believe that the next exit is the one to the case location,” Cas answered him after looking between the map and signs ahead.

            “Well, I think we should find a place to stay first. Looking online, the cheapest places are a little bit more north.”

            He looked back at his brother, “Sam, do you see that wall of red lights in front. We ain’t moving anywhere any time fast.”

            “It is a good idea Dean. And we can get something to eat. It has been several hours since we ate anything of sustenance.” He turned to Cas to say he wasn’t hungry but his traitorous stomach made a loud growl. “Obviously, your stomach agrees. Besides, you are cranky when you are hungry,” Cas added.

            “But…the case?” he wasn’t looking forward to even more traffic.

            “The place is open 24/7 Dean. Besides, it’s late in the day, we’re tired and we need to do some more leg work. Getting some grub is a real good idea cause I’m hungry too.” Sam pulled out his phone, “I was looking at things to eat earlier. There’s this place called Dicks. Supposed to be the best burgers in Seattle.”

            He made a face, “Dicks? Really Sam?”

            “No joke, been here for years. But if you want to find some greasy diner, fine.”

            “I have read that Seattle is well known for its fresh food and coffee,” Cas suggested. His love of coffee is well known to them all. The dude makes a face when he has a coffee that isn’t up to par.

            “Of course you’d know that this is the coffee capital of the world,” he said in a defeated tone. Well not so much, he _is_ hungry as well. “Okay, we find a place, eat, then figure out how to approach this case.”

_Two Hours Later_

            “Best place in the city Sam?” he chided his brother as he placed his bag on the bed closest to the door. After dealing with traffic for another hour, they stopped by Dicks to get some food since he felt like testing this assumption that it was the best burger in town. Thankfully it was a drive in and they needn’t stay long to get the food which Cas volunteered to do. And to his credit, Cas ordered everything they way he liked it. No bacon, but his burgers had extra meat and cheese whereas Sam had just a regular cheeseburger like the kid he is. After they finished their meal on the road, he pulled over into a cheap looking hotel in the rundown part of town. It made him nervous to leave baby outside, as it always does in a big city, but she’ll be safe enough.

            “If you want to spring for better digs Dean, be my guest,” Sam replied as he made a beeline for the bathroom. Sam always went to the bathroom first.

            Looking over his shoulder, he saw that Cas closing the door. “I’ll start putting up the wards,” the man said as he placed his bag on the small table. Then a thought occurred to him. He never thought about where Cas was going to sleep. He just automatically got a two bed room.

            “Oh hey, I forgot to think where you were going to sleep man.”

            Cas turned around from pouring a salt line, “I don’t mind sleeping with either one of you. Or I can sleep in the car if you’d prefer.”

            “Oh hold on there buddy. First off, don’t ever say you don’t mind sleeping with either one of us. That’s kinda creepy. And like hell you’re sleeping in the car. We’ll just ask for a cot.”

            Turning back to his task, “whatever is easiest Dean,” when he heard the toilet flush.

            “Did you spray in there?” he asked Sam who made a face as he exited.

            “Jerk. Anyway, I’ve been thinking. We should probably go and interview the families first.”

            “It’s almost six Sam, kinda late for the feds to make a visit don’t you think?”

            “Well, yeah, but I think we should take our time on this one.” The giant motioned to Cas, “I mean, it’s our first case in a while and it’s the first one we’ve done with Cas as a human.”

            Hearing his name, Cas looked at Sam, “I’ve been on several cases with you guys.”

            “But not as a human,” Sam explained.

            He looked over at Cas, who was doing his trademark squinty eyes at Sam. That was his annoyed squinty look though since it was accompanied with a frown. “I may not be an angel Sam, but I assure you I am more than adequate to assist you both.” As if on queue, they both looked at him to back them up.

            Holding up his hands, “whoa there guys.” He didn’t want to be the middle ground between them. “Sam has a point, but Sam, Cas doesn’t need training wheels. He can take care of himself.” A justified smile broke out on Cas’s face, “BUT,” he said looking at the smug ex-angel. “That doesn’t mean we’d rush into this all cocky.” A bit of smugness left Cas’s face, not enough, but he’ll give the guy some credit.

            Pulling out his laptop Sam walked over to the table. “Okay.” Plugging it in and opening it, Sam began to bring up the case notes. “So all the vic’s range in age, race and jobs. The only connecting factor is that they were all known to have visited the club at least a week before their deaths.”

            “How’d they die?” asked Cas.

            “That’s the weird thing. They all died without any cause. It’s what caught my eye.”

            He opened his laptop across from Sam while Cas sat on the bed facing them. “So how did you find that connection?”

            “Cause on the vic’s is a DJ at the club who just started. His husband said in a local paper that Dev, that’s the vic’s name, started acting strangely one night after work. But get this, according to Dev’s husband, the guy really began reminiscing about his ex. In the obituary of one of the other guys, his best friend confessed that he knew that the vic had feelings for him but he never returned them. The others been in a happy marriage from what I can tell, but he started acting strange after going to the club.”

            “So you’re thinking a spirit making them do this?” he asked.

            “I think so. The club just underwent an expansion so it might have agitated a spirit.”

            “Generally though, spirits would attack directly to scare people away in a case like that,” Cas advised. “But this spirit is more subversive than what is norm, if is indeed a spirit.”

            “Which is what I thought too. Still, if we can ID the ghost, we can just do a salt and burn.”

            “So we should interview the employees and the victims as well. We’ll start that tomorrow morning.”

            “Totally agree. If you don’t mind, the library is still open. Thought might look at the local history of the place. See if we can find any deaths there. But…” he heard Sam clicking away before he looked back up. “the club is open. You guys can go there and do an EMF sweep.”

            He balked, “what? Me and Cas go?”

            Sam closed his laptop. “Yeah. Frankly, its best cause I don’t want to go in there with you.”

            “What? Why?”

            “They have a dress code.”

            “A dress code?” Cas echoed questioningly.

            “Or rather, a lack of one. No clothes allowed.”

            Did he hear that right? “Excuse me?”

            “No clothes. It’d be weird.”

            “And like it’s not with me and Cas?” he asked exasperated. This cannot be real. Why they hell would anyone want to go around naked with total stranger….oh wait. This is a hook-up place.

            “I’ve seen you naked plenty of times Dean. And you’ve seen me naked…granted I was covered by bees, but naked nonetheless.” Cas added making any and all arguments null. A silence fell upon them as he admired the cheap fake wood on the table below him. Not that he couldn’t look how Sam was barely keeping himself from laughing out loud or how Cas was just sitting there clueless. Okay, maybe it was that, and the blush that he knows is on his face.

            “Fine,” he ground out, seeing no way out. Sam and Cas could go, but Sam’s way better at doing the library thing. And Cas shouldn’t be left with nothing to do and like hell he was going in alone. So the only option was to go with Cas. “That means that you’ll have to interview the workers alone tomorrow,” he stated braving to look at Sam.

            “That’s fine, that means you and Cas can do the families and witnesses.” 

 

 

 

* * *

 

            He looked at the board and the listed prices on the wall behind the man on the other side of the security glass. Monetary value is something he had finally learned when he became human the first time around. The prices seemed adequate but then he didn’t have any comparison the judge by. He looked over at Dean who seemed to keep his head low like he was afraid of being caught. Of what, he did not know. When Sam dropped them off in front of the non-descript building, Dean shuffled quickly inside, even though there was no one in sight.

            There was also no one in the small lobby. Only the entrance, the attendant behind the counter and another door, presumably leading to the actual club. The attendant was a young well-dressed man with a smile that was genuinely warm. He didn’t say anything at all for a moment, but looking them over, he leaned in closer. “I guess this is your first time here?”

            “Uh…yes,” Dean stammered out.

            “No problem. We’re all friendly here. You two together?”

            Dean froze so he answered, “yes, we are together.”

            “Okay, so do you want to get a room? We have a regular, large and then the specialty rooms. Or do you guys just want a locker?”

            He looked over at Dean who seemed to be overthinking it, or not thinking about it, so he took the lead again. “I believe a regular room will suffice.”

            “Alright. Now you’ll both need to pay a one-time membership fee for the month. Unless you plan to come back more often, then we can upgrade ya. That’ll be ten bucks for you both. The room is twenty, but since it’s your first time, I’ll charge ya fifteen. The rooms yours for eight hours and if you want to keep it longer, just come back here to extend your time.” He nodded and took out his wallet and handed cash over and in return he was handed a key. “Thank you. Now is there anything you want to store in here?”

            “No, we will be good. Thank you.”

            “No problem. I’ll buzz you in. The stairs are directly to the left. Head up and that’ll take to the main hallway. Room 35 is in the new wing, so follow the main hallway, pass the theater, turn left, then a right. It’ll be a corner room. Lube and condoms are complimentary. Oh, and remember the rules,” he pointed to the few rules beside the door. “Basically, be nice, don’t hate and no means no. No pics or videos inside. And no clothes, though kink wear like leather is allowed. If you’re not that open, a towel is fine. Got that?” He nodded in assent. “Cool, I’ll buzz you in.”

            A low buzz emanated from the door and he opened it. Dean mechanically went through after him and together they looked around. The lighting is dim, most of it coming from the strip lights on the floor marking the steps. Just enough to see where they were going but not much more. It was also warm and humid with a slight scent of recycled air while some bass heavy music played. “I can’t believe we’re doing this,”  he heard Dean mutter.

            “We are just here to do a sweep Dean,” he replied before taking the first step up the stairs. Halfway up he noticed a small area where refreshments and…devices were being offered. Curiously, he stepped closer to a glass case that held various phallic looking instruments along with others he did not know the use of. “Dean, what is that item?” he asked pointing to a tree like sculpture.

            “Awww man, I…I don’t really want to go into that,” Dean said while running his hand down his face before looking at him. “Oh don’t give me that tilt face puppy dog look.”

            “I am not giving a look Dean. I am just curious.”

            “How is this my life,” Dean said to the side quietly before looking at him. “It’s a butt plug man. Some guys...or gals, like to…uh, stick stuff up back there.”

            “Oh,” he remarked before looking back at the toy, “it seems rather large but I can see the design functionality now.” Looking up and down the case, “I assume that these are all meant to do the same thing?”

            “Yeah, just about…” Dean replied before taking the EMF detector out and did a quick scan. “Look, nothing here. Let’s move on.”

            “I don’t think that was a proper scan.”

            Dean rolled his eyes, “fine,” and this time the man was a bit more thorough. After a minute, Dean looked at him, “satisfied?”

            “Yes, though can I ask a question?”

            Sighing, “I’ll probably regret it, but yeah?”

            “Did you ever use one of these toys?” Observing humanity for millennia had of course let him now the fluidity of sexual taste but it was another to experience it as a human. Curiosity was burning inside him and this place was becoming very interesting.

            “What! No…” then Dean paused, “well, kinda. Not on me, but there was this one kinky woman. She liked to, um…be, you know what, let’s leave it at that. Not my usual bag, but hey, whatever gets you going I guess.” Turning back to stairs, “guess we should get this over with. No more sex questions alright?”

            “Okay,” he said, though he suspected that he will have many questions. Following Dean now, they reached the top of the stairs and looked to the left. There was indeed a well-lit hallway the openings on the left and right. Walking down the hall, he saw that the left opened to another hallway with many doors. To the right there was an opening that was too dark to make out where it went. Midway there was a restroom area with large mirrors. Across from that was a large sitting area. Here is where he saw the first patrons. It was just three men, but all were naked and watching a pornographic movie on the large screen. One was pleasuring himself, not paying attention at all to anyone else.

            “Oh wow,” he heard Dean whisper as he sped up slightly. At the end of the hallway, they turned left which revealed another hallway with doors. Immediately to his right there was an open door with a fit man in a towel relaxing on a bed with a towel on. It was obvious he was looking over him and Dean. Approvingly, he smiled at them both before they left his line of sight. Turing right at the next hallway, he saw a wide tiled area with showers on either side a couple of yards in. Several men were showering and beyond them were a couple of doors. On the left said ‘hot tub’ while the one on the right said ‘steam room’. At this point, Dean was speed walking past them looking straight ahead while he meandered a bit behind, intrigued. Past the showers and steam room the hallway continued with more doors. Theirs was at the corner.

            Dean fumbled a bit with the key as he walked up but it opened as he walked up. Sliding inside, Dean immediately closed the door behind him. The room was small, no more than seven by seven feet. On one side was a single size bed opposite a mirror that nearly filled the wall. Underneath the bed a couple of drawers, of which to assume to place their clothes. A small table with a two jars was beside the bed, one labeled condoms and the other lube. Next to them was a small remote, which looking next to the door, must control the television mounted into the wall. On the bed itself was a couple of towels and a pillow. Though it was small, it was entirely functional.

            Rubbing his eyes, Dean sat down on the bed. “Oh man, I don’t think I’ve seen this many naked dudes since high school PE.” Looking up at him, “how are you doing?”

            He began to unbutton his shirt after he took off his sweater, “I am fine. The human form in its natural state is nothing to be ashamed of.” Once the shirt was off, he opened one of the drawers and placed them inside. Bare chested, he began to undo his belt as he kicked off his shoes.

            “Whoa there Cas, what are you doing?” Dean asked pointedly looking past him.

            “Undressing. The rules Dean? You do remember them?”

            Exhaling deeply, “oh man…” was all Dean said.

            Shucking off both boxers and pants followed by socks, he tidily folded them into the drawer. “It is a rule Dean. You can wear a towel if you like. I did see one man wearing one.”

            Standing up, Dean looked at him. Though even the rooms were dim, he can make out a blush on the hunters face. “Well, I can see you don’t have any problem with…um, that rule. But…ah, do you mind turning around? I’m…ah, kinda shy about getting naked right in front of you.”

            He furrowed his brow, “I can, but there is a mirror behind us Dean. I’ll still see.”

            “Then close your eyes!”

            “Why? I’ve seen you naked before.” He saw that Dean was about to protest, so he continued, “Dean, I reconstructed your body when I raised you from perdition. I’ve even cradled your naked soul. So there is no need to be modest about your being naked. But, since it would make you comfortable, I will close your eyes.”

            As soon as they were closed, he heard a muffled and meek ‘thanks’ among the shuffling of clothes. A scant twenty seconds later and felt a soft cloth against his chest. Opening his eyes, he saw Dean wearing a towel and holding one for him to wear as well. “Thanks Cas…it’s…well, you’re different. It’s not that I don’t trust you or anything. It’s ‘cause growing up, I’ve always valued my space, however small it was. It’s something you learn when you love in tight corners, how to give people privacy.”

            “I understand,” he replied as he wrapped the soft towel around his waist. “So how should we do this? We cannot be subtle when scanning.”

            “No way around it, we’ll just have to do a walk through the entire place.” Dean picked up the device, “stay close. I don’t want to lose you out there.” Opening the door while he nodded. He turned to the left down the hall they have not yet been down. Taking lead, he sensed that Dean was keeping close attention to the EMF reader using him as a shield from view. There were fewer doors, and most were closed. Behind a couple there were sounds of coitus. With the music, the warm atmosphere and those noises, he also felt a twinge of arousal.

            The timing is bad though. They were on a case and this was not an opportune time to explore his sexuality. Coming to the end of the hallway, he was presented with either going left or right. The wall in front had a large poster of a leather clad man in a suggestive pose. On either side of him was a sign reading ‘dungeons’ and the other ‘scene rooms’.

            “I don’t want to know what the dungeon is gonna be like,” Dean said behind him. “But then, I really don’t want to know what a scene room is either.” Taking his que from Dean, he turned to the dungeon area first.

            It wasn’t long before he heard the definite sound of flesh being hit, likely a flat object. Recalling the counter earlier, he assumed that it must be a paddle. Closer still, he heard a gruff voice calling out, “you’ve been begging for a spanking boy? You like what daddy is giving you?” Becoming clearer as they approached, they say three large rooms across from one another. The walls have been covered in what looked like stone and various chains. Fake torches lit the area, which illuminated various pieces of ‘furniture’, most of which appeared designed to restrain than provide comfort. The cages and prison cells certainly added to the ambiance that this place was definitely a dungeon. At least a dozen men were in there, most of them watching a large man with a wooden paddle. That man had a smaller man in a full leather head mask bent over his knee. Given the redden state of his rear, he’s been spanked for some time. Another slap, followed by an immediate yelp of pain, but the struck man did not move. The larger man continued, “your ass had enough boy?” The masked one shook his head, “good, get on the bench.”

            “What the fuck…” Dean whispered next to him as they both watched the men head over to a bench in the middle of room.

            A man in front of them looked at them smiling, “exactly, Ed is allowing his sub to be used by anyone. Jay really gets off on it.” Together they all looked at the show going one. Jay, which he assumed was the masked man, had mounted a bench but in a position that left his anus exposed. Ed was talking to another guy who had come up. The man in front turned to them, “course, Ed takes care of his Jay, so he screens all the guys before they can fuck ‘im. Guessing it’s yous first time here?”

            “Yes, I never knew about such a place,” he answered as Dean shifted ever so slightly behind him again.

            “Most people don’t. But it’s a great way to spice up your life. Me and my partner been coming for years. Keeps things interesting.” A groan came back from the front, catching their attention. The man Ed had been talking to had begun probing Jay while stroking his own penis. Still looking, the man continued, “you two together?”

            “Yes,” he replied watching the show still while Dean at the same time said ‘no’.

            The man arched his eyebrow, “ah…I see. Well enjoy the show, I’m gonna go sit in the sauna for a bit.” Brushing past them, he continued to watch the show. A couple of other men had seated themselves on the leather couches and began to stroke themselves. Others went to check out the area, with two trying out a swing in one side. Himself interested, he began to circle the room.

            “This places is giving me the heebie jeebies Cas…” Dean said as he kept behind him.

            He walked over to a x-shaped crucifix with studded leather and bonds. Running over the leather, he again felt the arousal within him swell. “I find this atmosphere unusual yes, but refreshing.”

            “Refreshing? What the hell Cas?” Dean sputtered before reaching out to his shoulder to motion him to face him.

            _‘He’ll never touch you like you want to be touched,’_ a voice said inside his head as he let the warmth from Dean’s hand. Shaking it off, he answered, “it’s…hard to describe.”

            Taking his hand back, Dean shrugged. “I dunno Cas, on one hand, it’s awesome that there is a place people can go all ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’. It’s…well, to be honest, I’m not an exhibitionist and it’s hard to see someone be that open when it seems that they shouldn’t.”

            “I may not know much about human sexual customs, but I do know there is a wide spectrum of taste. To me, this is no more of a variance of taste than a favorite movie or food.” He looked at a cage to the left of them, “though I must admit, I do not know why anyone would voluntary subject themselves to s small confined space.” Turning to Dean, “have you detected anything?”

            “Getting zilch,” a loud moan punctuated the air at that moment, causing them to look at the source. Jay and the man had engaged in anal sex and it seemed they were enjoying it. For a few seconds, they watched before he looked at Dean. The hunter wasn’t paying attention to him, but seemed intrigued by the wanton display. _‘You’re wondering if you can satisfy Dean like that? You can…”_ the voice called from the back of his mind. ‘Where are these thoughts coming from’ he wondered before he walked in front of Dean. It broke Dean’s view and he turned to follow him to the other hall.

            The scene rooms were all closed except for one, which looked like a small classroom complete with chalkboard and desks. The other three were marked ‘boardroom’, ‘doctor’s office’ and ‘alien’. The last one had very peculiar noises coming from it. Seeing the school room, Dean smiled big and picked up a riding crop on the teachers desk. “Oh my god Cas! This is awesome! Hot teacher, bad student…oh man…the idea’s I’m getting.”

            “What kind of ideas Dean,” he asked on impulse. To him, it almost seemed like it wasn’t him that spoke.

            Dean looked at him odd, “well…uh, for some guys, banging the hot teacher was fantasy,” he replied as he fiddled with the riding crop. “Ummm, I’m still not getting anything-” Dean stopped midway as he looked past him.

            “Hey, you two about to do a scene?” a voice behind him asked. Turning, he saw a young Asian man, no older than twenty at best.

            “No, we’re just checking the…décor,” he said as he meet the man’s eyes. They were an unnatural green, likely contacts. _‘Not the green eyes you like,’_ the voice echoed again. Again, a twinge of heat radiated within him, knowing which green eyes he’d much rather gaze into.

            The newcomer didn’t seemed phase, instead he just smiled as he reached over and gazed over his tattoo on his stomach. “Hey, that’s really cool! What does it mean?”

            The delicate fingers danced on his tattoo and he liked the feeling. “It’s…Enochian,” he said looking at where those fingers were heading. They were heading downward, his face went back to the young man’s. He knew he had an uncertain look because he was uncertain about what was happening. Was this man propositioning him?

            “Can I?” the Asian man asked looking at Dean. He turned to look at his friend as well and he was surprised.

            “No,” Dean ground out with a dark face. Immediately he felt the soft fingers leave as the man walked away. The low gravelly voice Dean used to command the man away made him feel…lustful. A heaviness grew in his groin as he looked at the hunter both confused and wanting. Dean looked at him then down at his crotch, making Dean lose his dark face and made him shut his eyes. “Oh God Cas…can…can you take it down a notch? We’re here to do a job.”

            He looked down and finally connected that he was semi-erect, making a noticeable tent in the towel. “Oh…sorry. I was distracted.”

            Dean ran a hand down his face, “how do I get into these things?” Sighing, he took up the EMF reader again and looked straight ahead as he passed him. A sense of unease emanated from the hunter and in turn that made him worried. It was not his intent to put Dean in such a position. Yet…part of him wanted to, as Dean would say, make a move on him. Having him so close, nearly naked in an environ where causal sex was happening all around him…the allure was hard to ignore. But Dean is right, they have a job to do. Exiting the scene area, he walked briskly to catch up with the hunter.

            They past the showers and the sauna and went to the hall where he had seen the man wink at him earlier in the room. They turned to the right to head down that hall that had more doors spaced apart. Several were open, where some men where lying face down, another was reading a book on the bed and the last one had another couple engaging in sex. From the sounds of it, it wasn’t just them. He looked at Dean, he kept his attention on his homemade detector, ignoring everything else. So wrapped in fact, he didn’t notice that he was about to collide with a man stepping out of the room. “Dean!” he exclaimed too late.

            The two men bumped against each other and since Dean was walking fast, they both hit the door before they fell on the floor. Somehow, their towels became dislodged as Dean fell onto the ground first with the other man landing right on top of him. It was all over in a blink of a second, but afterwards…the two men looked at each other. The man Dean had taken down only partially pushed himself upped, propping himself with his arms as he smiled at Dean. “Well…I suppose I should say hi first.”

            Dean looked at the man, “uh…hi.” His friend seemed dazed, which didn’t seem right cause he had seen Dean take much harder hits.

            “Name’s Joe,” the man said before he moved his hip slightly since his knee was in an awkward position. The second he did, Dean’s eyes went wide and his mouth opened slightly. Joe noticed that, “oh? You liked that?” before he moved his hip again with a little bit more thrust. A flare of jealousy spread through him as Dean suddenly inhaled quickly. “We can do more,” Joe said motioning to the open door. _‘It should be you…’_ he imagined.

            With purpose, he kneeled down to grasp Dean’s shoulder. His touch seemed to make Dean from whatever he daze he was in. “Oh fuck!” he exclaimed as he began to move out from under Joe. Joe quickly pushed himself up, his arousal near his face and far too near to Dean that he nearly pulled up Dean with one hand. Hands up, Joe backed off, “oh, sorry man, didn’t know you were taken.”

            Dean might have said something, but as he helped Dean up, time seemed to slow down. He watched as the man got up, how his flesh seemed so soft…so inviting. The way his leg muscles flexed as he got on his feet mesmerized him. But it was what was between those bowlegged legs that caught him. Yes, he had seen Dean naked…but not this close. The man was only partially engorged, but already, it was impressive. A flying though not his own wanted to see what he can do to make Dean really aroused. That was, before the sound of closed door broke him out of it.

            Taking a deep breathe, he cleared his mind of such distracting thoughts. He looked over at Dean who watched Joe saunter off. The blush on his face was unmistakable. “Can’t believe that just happened,” he said before he turned to him. “Don’t you dare tell Sam I bumped dicks with another dude.”

            “I won’t tell him you enjoyed it,” he replied bending down to pick up the EMF detector.

            Dean snatched it out of his hand, “the fuck I did. And where were you? Were you there liking the show too?” Dean asked angrily.

            _‘Yes,’_ he thought as he said ‘no’. “No, I didn’t Dean. It made me...” ‘jealous’ almost slipped out but he stopped. “Never mind,” he said, not wanting to further this conversation.

            “Made you what Cas?” Dean demanded though, raising his voice slightly.

            He squared his eyes at Dean, the man that somehow by his very presence was wanting to both kiss and hit at the same time. A conflux of emotions were fighting inside him as he maintained his passive face. Should he admit he was jealous? _‘Yes…do it’_ a voice answered. But another part, the more rational part said it was better to keep things like it was. This place…it was doing something to him. “I…don’t know,” he lied. “I think this place is getting to me.”

            Dean closed his eyes and let out a relaxed sigh, “I get that. It’s messin’ with me too. Look, we finish this side, check out the steam room, take a shower and split. Half hour tops.”

            “Alright,” he agreed halfheartedly. This time, he took lead to avoid the mishap they just had, and together, they walked the halls with the club music and pleasure moans the only things to be heard. _‘He’s right there, watching you…he wants you as bad as you want him,”_ the voice said seductively. _‘Maybe he hoped it was you that had fallen on him. You want to see how his eyes reflect under you when you slide your bodies against each other…I know you do.’_ As these thoughts and images came to him, he couldn’t contain them. Their effect on him was becoming hard to ignore. That and something else was also becoming hard as well.

            Thankfully, they entered an especially dark area with narrow corridors and trick doors. On occasion, they passed small inserts in the wall that had a hole in it. “Dean,” he asked once they passed another one, “what are those holes for?” Turning around, he waited for Dean to answer.

            “Gloryholes. You put your dick in, and someone on the other side blows you.” Dean answered looking at the gloryhole. Said gloryhole then produced a hand, beckoning then to utilize the hole. Both he and Dean looked at each other. The knowledge that release was only a step away made his libido go haywire even more than it already was. _‘Entice him…you don’t need him to get you off…yet,”_ the voice whispered sweetly.

            “I’m gonna do it,” he said as he took off his towel. He walked over to the hole where the hand had disappeared guided his semi-erect member in. Immediately, he felt a hand take it as a tongue licked him over. The simple fact that someone else was doing this to him released the flood gates. The other fact that Dean was right behind him made it even more enticing. It wasn’t long before he felt the person on the other side take him in the mouth and he let out a moan. April never did this to him. His own hand never felt this good. The warmth, the pressure as a vacuum formed around his dick felt awesome. He was inclined to push further down, but he was already against the wall.

            Blissed out by the sensual ministrations focused on his cock, he looked back to Dean. The hunter was still in the same spot, his mouth wide open…his eyes wider. The man on the other side took him deeper and he bucked. As he did, he whimpered a small ‘Dean’ to the hunter.

 

* * *

 

            He couldn’t believe it. Cas was getting a blow job. From a dude. Right in front of him. IN FRONT OF HIM. A million things were racing across his mind and OH MY GOD CAS JUST MADE A SEX MOAN. This was too much, this was surreal. How…how can he watch this? Why is he watching this. This is kinda hot. WHERE THE FUCK DID THAT COME FROM!?!?!? Too much…Cas…naked…too much…

            Then Cas whimpered his name before he closed his eyes as he moaned again. The…feeling…the want of it went right through his ears and right to his dick. Was…was Cas thinking of him? HIM? No way…no, this can’t be happening. This…it isn’t real. At once, part of him wanted to run away…far away. But the other…oh fuck, he wanted to _touch_ Cas. Wanted to…to make him moan like that again, to say his name like it was a god-damned lifesaving mantra. And of course Cas moaned again, but he also reached out to him. His hand gently landing on his shoulder, he felt himself being pulled closer.

            There was no resistance, his fear and confusion simply replaced with _desire._ It overrode everything else, and gave no thought to nothing except staring into the euphoria that danced in the blown pupils of his angel. Their gaze broke as he looked down to the source of Cas’s bliss. He could only see the base and the trimmed black hair around it, but from the sounds coming from the other side, he knew that his friend was being well taken care of.

            Another whimpered ‘Dean’ brought his attention to the lips that uttered his name. To the face that had been stoic for so long, a smile was as subtle as a rocket launch, so see it so undone…in _his_ name, brought immense pride. So what if Cas had somehow snaked his arm around his waist and was pulling him ever closer. For the first time in a long time, he felt _wanted_. So when soft lips, softer than they looked, brushed his, he couldn’t help but lean forward to see how soft those lips truly were. One kiss became two, two became four and all the while his hands…or was it Cas’s?...wandered across their bodies.

            Both their breathing began to hasten, but Cas’s kept going, hitching faster that he leaned slightly back to find out why. There was a frenzied frapping sound on the other side of the wall. Cas closed his eyes tight and gripped his hand even tighter as the tension built inside the ex-angel. Entranced, he watched as Cas took a deep intake of air and held it in…until he opened his eyes wide and exclaimed in a voice impossibly deep and low, his name…strung out as Cas reached orgasm.

            He could only watch as Cas came out of his high…amazed that this just happened. Then he realized what happened. A cold chill settled in his stomach like a bad taco. He’d…he’d just made out with Cas. As the dude was being blown. They kissed and that kinda…no, it TOTALLY turned him on as evidenced by the tented towel. He started breathing fast again but not for the same reason as before. He looked about him dazed. What the fuck is this place and what the hell is it doing to them? To him!?!?! He looked back at Cas, who had stepped away from the wall and he saw Cas in all his glory, right down to the glistening softening cock. Cas tilted his head with furrowed brow, “Dean?”

            All that could be heard from his own voice was a shakey breathe as he realized what just happened. Looking at the floor, he picked up the fallen EMF device and then looked up. The worry was plain to see on ex-angels face, even in these dimmed lights. “Uh….no,” was all he could muster backing away, “I…uh…” but he never finished because he needed out.

            As he nearly ran back to the room, the cold recognition of what they, no _he_ had done began to turn to anger. What the fuck was all of that? Where in the hell did Cas think it’s okay to stick your dick in random holes?!? Why did it feel so right to kiss him! FUCK! These thoughts only piled more as he tried to deny it. This place was messing with them he fumed as he nearly broke the door getting into the room. “I need to get the hell outta here ‘fore I lose my fucking mind,” he swore as he tore open the drawer with his clothes.

            “Dean?” he heard on the other side of the door. The sound of his voice just added fuel to the fire. How can be sound so calm? Does he know what just happened? Jesus!

            Yanking the door open, he looked at the source of his current predicament. Cas seemed to shrivel a bit at the sight of him once they looked eyes. He knows that he’s giving Cas the stink eye but hell, he should be happy that’s all he’s getting at the moment. Timidly, Cas came in and quietly closed the door as he finished buttoning his shirt. Before Cas could say anything, he spoke. “That,” he pointed at the door, “was a mistake.”

            “A…mistake?” Cas asked as limped onto the bed, like the air was knocked out of him. “But-”

            “No! And we’re never going to talk about this. Ever. I don’t know what just happened…and I don’t want to! I…this never happened. No EMF, no ghost, no nothing. _It didn’t mean anything Cas._ _Nothing at all._ Understand that?” he ground out. He hadn’t realized that he was only inches from Cas’s face and he could see that the man understood. But in that understanding, he saw a hurt. A wound he knows he just made. Taking a sharp breathe, he opened the door. “I’m gonna find something to drink.”

* * *

 

            He’s been hundreds of libraries across the country. More often than naught, most of them were small local ones overstuffed with dusty books hiding behind drawn curtains. But a big city library like Seattle’s was nothing like those. First, it had a modern aesthetic, open air and walls of glass. Yet, for as open as it was, it was quiet and easy to concentrate, never mind the efficient catalog system. So it was easy to dive right into what he needed for this case. Or so he thought. The records of the buildings showed no gruesome deaths or weird history. Even the people who had owned the building in the past were relatively unremarkable. By all means, this place should be supernatural free, but here they are. There is an answer to this, but it’s not going to be found in the library, awesome as it is.

            By closing time, he’s exhausted every lead he can think of. Stepping out to the street, he hoped Dean and Cas had more luck than he did. They did have the past three hours to look into the place he smiled. How did Dean take to being in place like that should surely yield some funny stories. Taking out his phone, he dialed his brother.

            “Yeah,” Dean answered on the fourth ring. Sounds of glasses being clinked, loud voices and rock music filled the background. That sounded more like a bar than a sex club he thought.

            “Where are you?”

            “Oh…I don’t know, hole in the wall place…what’s that sweetheart? Uh-huh, thanks a bunch…I’m at McConnel’s Pub off of, whats the street? Thanks! I owe you a drink…off Madison. Oh, and no EMF. Not a ding at all.” Dean had a slur to him, and for him to have a slur, his brother must’ve drunk a lot. Takes a long time too.

            “Dean,” he asked in his serious voice, “where’s Cas?” There was a silence, though he still knew the line was connected since he could hear all the background noise. “Dean?”

            “Don’t know, probably back at that… _place._ ”

            The last word had such a connotation of disgust that he looked at the phone to make sure he heard right. “You left him there? Alone?”

            “What? Cas’s a big boy. He knows how to care of himself…” there was a small yelp from his brother on the other side. “You know what Sammy, call him. I gotta go, I owe Fera…actually, don’t wait up!”

            The line went dead. “God dammit Dean,” he cursed at his brother. Of course he’d chase some tail right now. Scrolling through his contacts, he dialed Cas. He didn’t answer. Shaking his head, he quickly headed to the car. They may not have any enemies (that they know of) at the moment, but all of them have the bad habit of getting kidnapped in cases. As he was about to turn the engine, his phone rang. It was Cas. “Cas! You alright?”

            “Relatively speaking, yes. Sorry I didn’t answer earlier, I was…engaged in something else.”

            “So you’re still at the club then?”

            “Yes, they have an excellent steam room and showers. I decided to relax.”

            “Dean said there wasn’t any EMF at all.”

            “D…yes, he is right. I did another scan just in case. I still didn’t detect anything.” If he didn’t know better, Cas sounded smaller all of a sudden. “Is he alright?”

            “Dean?”

            “Yes.”

            “He’s drinking and chasing skirts,” he said sarcastically.

            “Oh.” There was a silence that spoke of mystery to him. Something went down between Cas and Dean, that’s for sure.

            “Want me to get you? We can compare notes and see what we got.”

            “Yes, that sounds good. I’ll collect my clothes.”

            “See you in about ten minutes.”

            He found Cas right outside the door. Right off the back he could something was off about Cas, like a dark cloud was above him. Pretty sure that cloud was caused by his brother. Rolling to a stop in front of the club, Cas jogged over and slid into the passenger side. Oh yeah, something was way off with the ex-angel. It was practically rolling off in waves. A mixture of guilt, internalized conflict and oh yeah, lots of angst. “You need anything Cas? Bite to eat? Anything?” he asked, hoping to brighten his friend up a bit.

            “No. I am not hungry and I do not require anything,” Cas replied in an even voice. There was no warmth, no personality in it. It was like having the original angel mode back on.

            “Okay. Well, I guess we’ll head back to the room then,” he remarked as he turned onto the main street. With no traffic, it was only a ten minute drive. A drive they both endured in silence as he didn’t really know how to approach Cas at the moment. The man in question just looked out the window, watching the city pass buy. He saved talking about the case until they were inside the room.

            “So I’m not so sure it’s a spirit doing this. No EMF and no deaths stand out,” he said to Cas ho was seated across from him. Shuffling through his reports, Cas nodded.

            “I’m inclined to believe you are right. But the question then becomes, what is causing these deaths?”

            He shrugged, “I don’t know. It’s an off chance that this is entirely coincidental, but you know how that usually means.”

            Nodding, “agreed. There is something linking these deaths. I cannot describe it…but,” Cas sighed and looked away from him before continuing. “There is something there…it…affected Dean and I. I…don’t know how to describe it.”

            The hesitancy and the definite aura of unease coming from Cas spoke that this ‘affect’ this thing had was the cause of why Cas being in a funk and Dean being an ass. Well, more of an ass than usual. However, this is something he needed to be delicate about. “So, was it like a feeling then? Or the environment? I mean, I know that it’s a place that definitely not the norm, but…” he didn’t know how to phrase what he was thinking. What is the norm for a bathhouse? He had no idea.

            “Well, there was certainly a sense of…sex…but also, a frank honesty about the place. To me, the nudity or the sex wasn’t offensive, or even enticing. It just _is._ ” Cas looked back at him, “to angels, it’s not what we look like that matters. It’s who we _are_ that defines us. We knew what our purpose was. There at the club, I felt something like that. I…don’t know if this is making any sense to you Sam.”

            He looked at Cas, thinking hard about what he said. “It does kinda. I know you Cas, and don’t take this the wrong way, but you’re kinda bad at being subtle. I think there, it was nice that the was no need to be subtle. It was a simple matter of yes or no I’m guessing?”

            Cas’s eyes light up, “yes! That’s it! Everything there was direct, simple. Everything there was to make sure you had a good time. A good time,” he repeated softly before sighing. “At least, it is hoped.”

            He steeled himself before asking his next question. It wasn’t one he would ask, but he needed to ask since it was troubling Cas so much. “And did you?” Cas looked at him confused before the clarified, “have a good time I mean.”

            Looking at the window, which was closed by shades, Cas took a moment to think about what he asked. It seemed a while before Cas turned back to him, “I did…for a while. Some interesting things did happen, but in all, it was alright.”

            “And Dean? How was he?”

            “Dean…Dean was less than pleased about being in there. Especially after…” Cas shook his head. “I’m sorry Sam, I can’t say anymore.” Clearing his throat and straightening up, the ex-angel looked at him directly. “I promised. Sorry.”

            Sam knew immediately something big happened in that club. Something that Dean made Cas swear to never talk about. Looking over at the other man, he saw that Cas desperately wanted to talk about it. And he should, it would do him good. But Cas will never tell. The ex-angel would follow Dean’s order, and would rather die than break a promise. Had died in fact. But this is unhealthy. Even now, he could see the strain Cas was put under in keeping his promise. “Cas, you can tell me. I can tell something went down and it’s eating you up. Trust me Cas, holding onto stuff like that can mess you up.”

            Cas shook his head, “I’m afraid the damage is done Sam, but I thank you for your concern.”

            He nodded. Cas would stay tight lipped about it, so he’s not even going to try. “Alright, but ‘member man, I’m here for you.” He put his hand on Cas’s shoulder, “how about you lie down? You can take my bed. I’m not tired and I’m gonna look for most stuff online.”

            The ex-angel relaxed under his hand, “thank you Sam. I…I am tired.”

            He smiled, “no problem Cas. Don’t worry about it, that’s what family is for.”

            Cas looked at him and smiled sadly as he got up, and a worried feeling came over the tall Winchester as his friend pick up his bag. As the ex-angel retreated to the bathroom, he could recall his own battles with depression. And this was worrying. Just this morning Cas had been his usual stoic self, but still calm and collected. Now he is acting like a kicked puppy, but too stubborn to truly admit what is going on. For now though, he wasn't going to try to pry more out of him. No, that he was going to get those details from his brother.

* * *

 

            He slid into the bed that Sam had graciously given to him for the night. Unlike his brother, Sam was the more empathetic one and had sensed his unease. And though Sam had only the most pure of intentions so he can help, he couldn't say anything. It was likely Sam would understand, even know how to help. Right now though, he didn't want to burden anyone else with his worthless feelings.

            After Dean had left, he sat on the bed, not knowing what to do. Part of him hurt, though he did not know why. Another part was angry, but at himself. Why was a question that rang in his mind relentlessy as he sunk further into an abyss. It wasn't until a knock made him look up to see that Dean had not closed the door. In the doorway stood a muscular man with a ginger beard and bald head. "You availaible?" the stranger asked.

            His pain momentarily forgotten at the intention the question posed, he mused about it. On a purely physical standpoint, sex is a good stress reliever. And it would serve to distract him for a while, even if for a moment. Finally, there was a faint flare to provoke Dean, if only imagined, by making him jealous of what he is missing.

            So he said yes, and the man grinned as he closed the door.

            After that, he had several more relations, even joining an orgy held in one of the larger rooms. It felt good to be touched, to be acknowledged for once. Even the voice that had egged him on earlier seemed sated. It was all superficial and vain though, and even after every orgasm, he felt more and more hollow. And he felt...used, but that he had deserved it. Even the shower he had taken did not make him feel altogether. An EMF sweep was a tried diversion, but again nothing came up, so he went to the room again to brood...with the door open. He was just finishing giving a blowjob when Sam called.

            And now...as he heard Sam type away on the small desk, he felt tiny...useless and rejected. It wasn't surprising to learn that Dean had, of course, gone to his usual coping habits. But the thought that Dean was with someone else...anyone else, made him both jealous and depressed. Somewhere, in the far back of his mind, he felt something was wrong, but it was drowned out by a deepening darkness. No sleep came to him as a tear ran down his cheek.

* * *

 

            She was pretty, with light brown hair and doe like eyes that looked up at him as she took his cock in her mouth. Some drinks, a dirty joke and wink was all that it took for him to come back with her. He thanked whoever blew the Tinder date with her that he had missed it so he can be here now. She was good, awesome even. She was taking her time, making sure that everything in her reach was touched.

            Yet...even as more clothes came off, he felt detached. Sure, he was doing all his moves on her, making sure she had a good time. But was he? Not really...not even his dick seemed overly interested. He only got mildly hard, even with all her efforts. Blaming it on whiskey dick, which she graciously accepted, he made her come nonetheless with his fingers and tongue. Never let it be said that Dean Winchester never left a woman unsatisfied.

            The truth was, or is, he mused as he went to another bar, that his mind was stuck elsewhere. Specifically, on how Cas touched him back in the club. That physical touch went much further than he realized, brought about thoughts he thought he had deeply buried. So as he ordered yet another finger of whisky, he thought he'll drown those damn thoughts away.

            And they were throughly drowned as he haphazardly left the cab for the motel they were staying in. Smiling as he saw his baby, he took out his key and opened the door. Yup, he was drunk as hell and damn, he felt good. Might be hell in the morning he thought as he opened the door.

            “Where have you been?” asked Sam in a tone that meant that he was going to pay for hell now.

            “What? Just had a couple of drinks that’s all Sam? Anything wrong with that?” he replied as he took off his jacket.

            “Normally no, but not when you leave Cas high and dry in a strange place.”

            Cas. The name of the person he has been trying so hard to avoid these past couple of hours. Those sad eyes came right to the forefront of his mind, making him feel guilty. Then angry. Cas had no right to do what he did! “I’m not his god damned babysitter Sam! The ferocity of his response was something his brother was clearly not expecting giving his shocked expression. Yet the alcohol only fueled him more, loosening his tongue. “If he wanted to stay in that fucked up gay sex joint and get fucked up then that’s none of my business!” He slammed his fist down on the table, “and I really don’t appreciate when some dudes decide I’m eye candy and start being all touchy. I never wanted that! I don’t want to be fucking touched by some gay perv!”

            “Dean-” Sam started before he cut him off.

            “Oh don’t start Sammy. I don’t have anything against those dudes. But I do have a freaking big ass problem when they try to reach for my cock or even try to kiss me! That’s so fucking gross! I don’t want to feel a rough stubble or a deep gravelly voice. I want to kiss a woman, with soft lips and big breasts. So don’t patronize me Sam, you’d have run out of that place too if you saw the sick shit they do in there!” He threw up his hands, “they had dungeons Sam! Dungeons! Where some dude let himself be fucked by whoever. Gloryholes in the walls. Everywhere dudes beating off, everything you heard was someone fucking! And everyone…and I mean everyone Sam was looking at me like I was some kind of meat! Seriously, that place is fucked up. Nothing against the gays, but they can keep all that sick shit to themselves.”

            “I know what was in there Dean. And no, I wouldn’t have a problem with it at all.”

            “Well, is that so Mr. I’m all accepting of everything?”

            Sam stood up and threw him a disgusted glare, “in fact I do Dean. I used to work in one when I first started at Stanford.”

            He balked, “say what?”

            “Yeah, I worked at a bathhouse. For a couple of months as part of the cleanup crew. And I know what happens in there and it didn’t bother me at all. Sure, I got hit on every once in a while, but it didn’t bother me. Just told’em I am straight and that was that. What I don’t get now is why you left Cas there when you feel so disgusted by the place Dean.”

            “Cause he decided to put his dick in some fucking stranger’s mouth in front of me Sam!” he all but yelled. “Cas didn’t bat an eye or even hesitate dude. Just went at it and…and,” the kiss and the memory of its warmth stopped him. That didn’t disgust him…no…he liked it. Cas liked it. They kissed each other deeper.

            “And what?” his brother asked.

            “It’s…just weird alright?” he ended weakly, his anger somehow fizzled out. “Where is Cas anyway?” Sam sighed and instead of answering, just looked over to right. Following his line of sight, he looked at the bed which was claimed by Sam earlier. “Shit,” was all he stammered out. Cas was lying down still, his back to them both, pretending to be asleep. Even this wasted, he still had keen eyes and could tell he was breathing too precise to be asleep. Which meant he was awake…and had heard god knows how much he just ranted.

            A pang of guilt overtook him, erasing any anger he had felt earlier. He felt like a dick now and he wanted to go hide, somewhere…anywhere. But he couldn’t. What happened at that club had freaked him out, but is being unfair to Cas. Dude is new to humanity and has stated in the past, some things he simply does not get. At all. That was part of the man’s charm after all. He felt Sam poke him on the shoulder. “Here,” his brother said offering a bottle of water and some aspirin, “you should go to sleep Dean.”

            Absently, he nodded, “yeah…sounds good.”

            Dean was still sleeping and Cas, just shrugged off his offer to go with him to breakfast. His friend looked pale and tired. He had no doubt that everything this morning had been heard. “Are you okay?” he asked quietly as he kneeled beside the bed.

Shaking his head, Cas just pulled the blankets closer to him. “I do not feel well Sam,” Cas whispered in a defeated tone.

“Is…is it because of last night?”

A shuddered breathe escaped Cas as he closed his eyes. “I…do not wish to talk about it.”

He knew better to continue. This was abnormal behavior from Cas, and he didn’t want to antagonize him any further. Something was doing this to him, possibly even Dean. No spirit to his knowledge was capable of doing this. Or were they? If there was one thing he had learned in all the years of hunting, there were always surprises. Hopefully he can interview the owners, see if he can find a clue about the hell is going one, ‘cause he had a sinking feeling it was affecting the two most important people in his world.

            Dry mouth. Throbbing headache. A feeling that some shit went down last night. Oh yeah, he drank a ton last night. As the haze of ignorant bliss faded, he got up to stretch his arms. As they popped, he griped about getting older as he looked around. Motel room. He’s on a case. Ah, yeah…some haunting in Seattle. Heh, he smiled, wasn’t there some place that serves humongous omelet around here.

            He looked over his shoulder at the other bed. There was a lump in the sheets. Raising his eyebrows, he was a bit perplexed that Sam slept in. Sam almost always wakes up before him to do a run or whatever he does to stay freakishly strong. “Hey Sammy, time to get up,” he announced as he got up to relieve himself.

            As he heard the bed creak, he again looked over. But instead of a long brown hair, he saw a mess of black hair. _Cas._ “Sam already left and I am not feeling well. You should go on without me,” Cas in a worn out tone. His blue eyes had dark circles and seemed puffy. He really did look like shit.

            Then everything came back to him. How they wandered the club. How they kissed. How he was a drunk asshole who ran away to go drinking. Pretty girl, couldn’t really get it up. They kissed. _And he liked it._ Again, the panicky flight instinct came back in. But he fought it down as he and Cas connected eyes. He saw the pain, the despondency…Cas looked lost. More lost than he ever has. And it was because of _him._ In turn, that hurt him.

            “Hey buddy,” he said weakly, unable to say his name. Guilt and shame filled him as he recalled all the words he said the night before. “You’re not feeling all that great?” he asked dumbly. Cas gave him the expected ‘really Dean?’ look. “Okay…so. Um, is there anything you need?” Cas shook his head before he shifted on the bed, lying back down. He was telling him in his own way that he wanted to be alone. “Alright…I’m just…just gonna get ready to go,” he said as he backed into the bathroom.

            It didn’t take long to get ready. Grabbing the file Sam made for him on the desk he exited the room without so much as a quick bye in the general direction of Cas. Seeing that Sam had taken a taxi as his baby was in the lot, he thanked his brother. Taking his phone, he called Sam. “Hey Dean,” Sam answered all calm like.

            “Where are you?”

            “Just getting some coffee. Since I had the car yesterday, I took a cab into the city. Gonna interview the owners in a bit. See if I can turn up with what we’re dealing with.”

            “You don’t think it’s a spirit?”

            “I don’t know to be honest Dean. I thought it was given what I found at first. Now I think it might be something else.”

            “What makes you think that?”

            “Well…have you seen Cas?” Sam asked icily.

            Hurt blue eyes flashed in his mind, “yeah.”

            “Doesn’t it seem…I don’t know, kinda weird that Cas is acting like this?”

Like a kicked puppy he asked to himself. Not to add that he was the one that did the kicking. “Yeah” he said softly as a new wave of guilt came over him.

“Well, I think whatever is happening, it got Cas too. So we gotta find out what the heck is happening before…you know.”

The thought that Cas might hurt himself sent an icy chill down his spine and made him sick. He looked at the door to their room, “I shouldn’t leave him alone.”

“Normally, I would agree with you Dean, but we need to get to the bottom of this fast. I’ll work this end, and you talk to the witnesses. It’s the only thing we got so far.”

“Ditto. And Sam?” he asked still looking at the door. “Can you call him every so often…to check up on him?”

“Yeah…of course.”

He hung up on Dean as he took his cup of coffee and finished it off. Exiting one of the many coffee shops, he made his way toward the club. Without any hesitation, he opened the door and pulled out his fake badge. “City Health Department, Inspector Jones. I’m just here to ask a few questions,” he asked at the gatekeeper. Not even phased, the guy picked up the phone.

“It’ll just be a few moments. Sean will be down. If you can wait through the door.” He nodded and he heard an electric buzz. He walked through the door, and noticed the change in humidity. There was the steady beat of club music in the distant. For a moment, he wondered what Dean and Cas thought when they walked through the door. Knowing a bit more of what went down, he knew the unease Dean must have felt and the blissful ignorance that Cas must have had. When he worked at the bathhouse in San Francisco, he was at first intimidated at all the naked men as he walked around in a cleaning outfit. His boss knew that he was eye candy, but employees were strictly off limits and the members knew that. Even so, he had an odd pinch or grope every so often. But a small shake of his head and he was left alone. It was good money for a while and it worked great with his schedule. After a year studies and the commute made it harder, so he had quit.

“Detective Jones?” asked a man in a dress shirt and slacks. Focusing on the shorter man, he saw that the shirt had the top two buttons undone, showing a hint of hair. The man himself was perhaps as old or younger than him. Short cropped hair and blond, he had a tanned complexion and a pearly white smile.

“Yes,” he answered holding out his hand. The offer taken, he noticed the strong smooth grip of the owner.

“Sean Macomber, owner of this establishment. Mind if we head to my office?”A wide smile flashed at him, “excellent, follow me.” Turning, he walked up the stairs. There was a nondescript door in a small alcove where there was a glass case showcasing various sex toys. Going through the door, they came into a small hallway with three rooms. One room was open and had several monitors with a couple of people watching. The other was a storeroom and the last, which had yet another door to which they entered.

Sean went directly to one of the two desks in the room. The office was sparse and modern, though he was directly drawn to a small bookcase that stood between the two desks. Besides accounting books and various books on sex and business, there was a small shrine. A pagan shrine, with what he guessed was Dionysus and nymphs with a small alter. “Ah, I suppose an alter to him would be good fit here,” he asked going on a hunch.

Looking at the shine then back to him, “ah, yeah. That’s mostly Brad’s thing. He’s a neo-pagan or something like that.”

Recognizing the name as the newer owner, he filed that away as a possible lead. “Ah. Well, I’m here because of a possible connection to some deaths in the community.”

            Sean seemed shocked, “to us here? I assure you inspector, we take the highest possible standard of protection for our patrons. We even have free HIV testing every other Wednesday.”

            “Oh no! It’s not STD related. I’m just following up on the mental state of the victims. All of them had visited this place within a week and I was just checking if there was a connection.”

            “How so?” asked a puzzled Sean.

            “We suspect some outside influence, perhaps a drug or an experience.” He lied smoothly. Seeing the grave concern on Sean’s face, he thought of a way to complacent him. “It’s a concern that was expressed to my department. I’m just following up.”

            Sean seemed to relax a bit, “ah, I see. Well, we do have a strict drug free zone. Hell, we don’t even allow alcohol. Any member that brings anything like that in, or under the influence of, is barred for life.” Shifting in his chair, “I can see your concern though. We recently lost one of our DJ’s and he was acting odd before he…passed.”

            “Yes, that is what we looking into. Was he long time employee?”

            “Yes, Matt was here for years. Good man, had a husband and seemed great. It came as a shock to know he passed.”

            “What was different?”

            “Well, before Matt married Daryl, he had a long time relationship with Aaron. They were together for almost ten years before Aaron died in a car accident. Took him years to get over him, but eventually he and Daryl became involved and married, have been for almost seven years. Everything seemed good, but…the past Brad had been reminiscing about Aaron.”

            Interesting he thought as he added this tidbit to his notes. “Has anyone else acted like this? Like staff, or any regulars?”

            “Not that I have noticed. I try to keep a distance from the customers to maintain discretion-” The door to the office opened where a younger man wearing a vest and pressed pants came in. “Hi Brad,” Sean said as he stood. “This is Inspector Jones from the city.”

            The newer owner smiled cheerfully, “hello, I’m Brad. How can I help you?” Something in the man’s eyes flickered with fear when he looked over him. It was almost like he recognized him.

            “Just doing some investigation with some recent deaths, but I think everything here is fine. Sean has been more than helpful. I’m just about done here.” Getting up, he smiled at both men, “thank you both.” Facing back to Brad, “I was wondering about that statue there. Is it Dionysus?”

            “Uh…yes. I thought in a place like this it would be a good to have his blessing.” The nervousness on the man seemed to increase the longer he was there. “Well…if you’re done, I can show you out.”

            “Sure,” offering his hand back to Sean, “thank you so much for your time.” After shaking his hand he followed the other owner out of the office.

            As soon as they were out of earshot, Brad stopped and turned to him. The man seemed to sweating as he reached inside his vest. “I…I know who you are. I don’t want any trouble. If we can discuss this over a drink or dinner, I’m sure we can work something out.”

* * *

 

            He knocked the light blue door with the brass angel knocker. As he waited for an answer, he dwelled on the sad look that Cas had given him haunted him still. Something about it turned his emotions that he so long had controlled into a twist. Shaking it off, he smiled as the door opened.

            A blond closely curled man with grieving light blue eyes opened the door. “Can I help you?”

            Holding up his badge, “Special Agent Mills from the ATF. I’m here to talk to you about Ryan Holland.”

            Greif ridden as his eyes were already, the name of the victim must’ve nearly broken the man. He could see that it took all the man’s strength to remain as poised as he was. “I’m Dave Freid, I’m…was his best friend.” Opening the door wider, “please come in.” Nodding he entered the quaint house. The furnishings were random and there was no sense of design, but it was tidy. He was led to the living room where he noticed several pictures, most of them with the deceased. “Would you like some coffee? Tea?”

            “Coffee would be great, thanks.”

            “Make yourself at home, I just brewed a pot.” Dave replied as he went through a small hallway. While he was gone, he took a closer look at the pictures. It looked like Dave and Ryan were the closest of buds that did everything together. Hiking, fishing, even one in front of the Eiffel Tower. And they spanned years, from teenagers to now. They looked…good together, like they belonged to each other. There was one that must’ve been a candid picture, since they weren’t looking at the camera. Rather, they were looking at each other with a sunset behind them on a beach. They looked at each other with such intensity…just like Cas.

            “We were at Santa Cruz, about five years ago.” Dave said behind him holding out cup to him as he quickly turned around. Dave was looking at the picture, “that was the first time he kissed me you know.”

            He arched an eyebrow, “I didn’t know.”

            Dave sighed, “no one knew. I was too chickenshit to…to admit that we were more than just friends.” Sitting down in an armchair and he across in a lumpy sofa, Dave looked at him before going on. “So agent, what would you like to know about Ryan?”

            “Well, I’m here because there’s a possible connection with some other deaths in the area.”

            “How can it be connected to anyone else?”

            “There was a concern about some new drug in the area. Apparently several men have died after visiting a place. Just making sure nothing new is hitting the streets. Could be just a coincidence.”

            “Oh.” Dave looked at his coffee for a while, thinking, “Well, he was acting weird. In the end. I…just ignored it…like I did everything else.”

            “Like how?”

            Dave smiled sadly, “you had to know Ryan agent. He was always so happy, always there to help, to listen. We meet about ten years ago, at college. You know, he saved my life.” Eyes reliving memory, Dave went on, “I was a party animal when we went to college. I was the ‘bad boy’ and a hit with the ladies. I never noticed him, not until he saved me. I wandered away from a party, messed up on way to many things. I remember walking, can’t remember where to, but I tripped in the middle of nowhere. I went down and puked, but I was lying down, so I began to drown ‘cause I didn’t know shit.”

He nodded, relating to the experience more than once. “Yeah, I did some stuff like that back in the day.”

“So you get it, because I didn’t know what was going on. I was so high and drunk, I felt like was sliding into a warm bath.  Until I was on my side, water being forced into my mouth. Then lips. His lips.” Dave grinned, “he had no idea how to do CPR and I wasn’t breathing, so he just started thumping on my chest and trying to breathe for me.” He ran his fingers over his mouth, lightly like he was remembering the feeling. “Anyway, Ryan saved me that night. After that, he kinda became my guardian angel.” The word angel reverberated with him, bringing his mind to Cas and how he saved him.

“I woke up, but he wouldn’t let me go on by myself. So he took me to his place. Woke up wondering how the hell I was still alive in the morning. To me, everything was in a haze but I figured I was in some deep trouble. Then this guy came in, gave me coffee and told me what went down. I suddenly realized that I could’ve died. Then he asks if I want to go on a hike!” Dave laughed, “he thought a good hike would be energizing. He always had a weird way of getting his point across. And damn, he can pull off some puppy eyes! And for some reason, I went. After a while, I just hung out with him more and more. We just…clicked.” A small smile flickered across Dave’s face.

“We were like brothers. After college, we moved in together. We dealt with girlfriends, jobs and life in general together. We partied, travelled, studied…everything man. It just didn’t feel right when he wasn’t here.” Dave looked out the window, “it’ll never feel right again.”

“Girlfriends?” he asked, a bit confused. “I thought Ryan…was, uh, you know…”

“Gay?” asked Dave before shaking his head. “No, agent, I wouldn’t say that. Ryan never…labeled himself like that. People were people to him. He’d been with guys before, though he was mostly into women. But he never was in a relationship. Not for long at least. It wasn’t until we both realized that…we were already in one. With each other.”

Dave shifted closer, “I don’t know how to explain it. On some level, I always knew I loved him like that. And for a long time, it frightened me. I couldn’t get over the fact that I was attracted to a dude. And Ryan knew that I was. He said, ‘I’ll always love you, no matter what, even if you can’t say it, I’ll say it for the both of us.’ And that was good for me. It was good for years. For us both. But I…I never could be out of the closet. I couldn’t identify with the gay community. Ryan could, I couldn’t. I could never hold his hand, or kiss him in public. For me, it was like a dirty secret, something we did when were safe back here.”

“Then I meet this girl my parents really liked. And I mean, they were really hoping for grandkids, so I was all but paired up with her. And…we started dating. Ryan understood, hell, he liked to hang out with Brit. We knocked off whatever we were, so I can pretend to be happy with Brit. And I guess I bought into the lie that I was happy with this woman.”

“Until a couple of weeks ago. Even though he moved out, we still hung out almost every day. I noticed that he looked more tired, and that he was unhappy. And I was too. Things weren’t going smooth with me a Brit. I was thinking that I should marry her, cause I thought that would make her happy. So I asked Ryan, and he smiled, and said, ‘happiness has to come from within Dave, not from without.’ I thought he was being all mysterious, so I laughed it off. He didn’t.” Dave hung his head in shame, “I already knew that I…that we were happiest together. But I had to be the perfect son, who marries a perfect wife and have two kids with a white picket fence around my suburban house.” A silence fell in the room, “he died the next day.”

He gave Dave a few moments to himself. His grief and guilt are still fresh, and he knows how those wounds sting. Clearing his throat, “sorry for his loss. But can you be specific? Like was he, just not active, or mood swings?”

“I would say no, he’s was a health nut, went on a run every day. Always ate right. I just don’t know how he could have just died. It doesn’t seem like he did…it. To himself. I think there is something more.”

“And that’s why we’re looking into it,” he assured.

Dave smiled weakly before putting his cup on the table. “To be honest agent, I think I know what killed him, cause it’s nearly killing me.”

            “What is it?” he asked alarmed.

            “A broken heart.”

* * *

 

He had been in bed for nearly thirteen hours. Counting every one pass with the digital clock on the bed stand, he didn’t have the energy to get up. Distantly, in the back of his mind, he knew something was wrong. That he might have been effected by whatever is causing the deaths of the patrons from the club. But he couldn’t find the heart to care. What point was there for him to be around when he was nothing but a burden to the Winchesters?

Sam called earlier, citing he was worried about him and offering to take him to lunch. He said he wasn’t hungry, food seemed like a dull affair. Sam was nice, but he knew he’d grow tired of trying to perk him up, to get him to do something. The man may have lots of patience, needed to, since he was Dean’s brother, but there was a limit. He also suspected that Sam never really forgave him for breaking his wall. Even if he had, Cas knew he deserved every minute of pain and loneliness.

And of course there was Dean. Last night, he got so close to Dean…closer than any hope he never dared imagine. It wasn’t the physical aspect, but it was the _feelings_  that arose when the man was near. Deeper than cared for, beyond admired, it wasn’t lust…it was love. He felt love for Dean. And for a moment, he thought Dean would love him back.

He didn’t. In fact, he was disgusted by him. Somehow, he misjudged, as always, and now he’s suffering the consequences of his actions. The rejection hurt. More than any wound or torture he had endured since he came into being. He wanted to hide. To go away. Forever.

His dark thoughts were interrupted by his ringing phone. Knowing it was Sam again, he hit answer without looking at the screen. “Hello?”

“Hey Cas. I think I got a new lead but I might need back up.” All he could muster was a small ‘okay’ before Sam went on. “The newer owner, he recognized me as a hunter. But he wants to meet up later for drinks. I’d call Dean but there’s a good chance he’d be recognized too. So it’ll have to be you. Can you make it downtown Cas? If this guy knows us, he’s probably setting up a trap or something.”

The thought of getting up seemed so hard, but for Sam, he can pull himself together. For a while at least. “Yes, I believe so. Where?”

“Wine bar called ‘Cork’ not far from The Steam Club. I’m gonna meet him in a couple of hours. Best if you scout it out first and be there as back up.”

Pushing back the covers, he swung his legs out. “I’m getting ready now. I’ll text you when I arrive.”

“Thanks Cas. In the meantime, I’m going to the library to see what I can dig up on this owner. See if I missed anything.” After hanging up, he showered and got all the stuff he needed. He donned a plain dress shirt with blue jeans, added his suit jacket. Making sure the top two buttons were undone, he tucked his angel blade up his forearm. Checking for cash, he counted over two hundred dollars. Since he was going to do a stakeout in a bar, might as well have a drink or two. Dean would have done so.

It was only a twenty minute ride in the moustached car to take him to the bar he needed to go. Sam had texted him the address and the picture of the owner. Cork had a laid back atmosphere but it was high class, or he assumed it would be high classed. Compared to the usual drinking establishments he has been to, this place was immaculate. There was no scent of stale beer, no pool tables, no TV’s and the music soothing. Instead of a cluster of colored bottles and pull it tabs at the bar, there was neatly stacked array of wine, cognac and other spirits not usually imbibed by the brothers.

            Choosing the sit at the far end of the bar that was slightly shadowed, he scanned the large room. There was perhaps only a dozen people in here, most of them in groups of three or four. Two bartenders were stationed at the large bar, but they were busy engaging their patrons. They all were dressed in what he understood as ‘dressy casual’, attire he understood no one would want to fight in. Of course, angels fought in whatever their vessel happened to be wearing, same with demons. On top of that, there was really no feasible way to check all these people. He shifted his arm to feel the weight of the angel blade to reassure him.

            After a few moments, one of the bartenders came over to him. Asking him what he’d like, he honestly did not know. No one else was drinking a brewski, rather, they were all drinking from wine glasses. Other than the ceremonial use of wine, he never actually drank it. “I…um, am not familiar with wine.”

            “No worries! Tell you what, I have a nice shiraz from here that’s great. How about I get you that?” the bartender smiled sweetly at him. Her bright eyes and round face reminded him a Claire for a moment, making him feel another pang of guilt. He nodded. Still smiling, she went over to get him a glass. As she did, he messaged Sam that he had arrived and has seen nothing unusual. When the bartender came back, she handed him a glass. “Tell me what you think,” she asked.

            Mimicing the others he had seen, he first smelled the wine, inhaling deeply before he took a sip. He let the aroma mix with the taste before he swallowed. It was, as he could tell, a little bitter but had a…spicy yet slightly sweet taste. “This is nice, this is unlike any other alcohol I have imbibed before.”

            The bartender laughed, “oh man, wine isn’t about the alcohol. It’s about the taste, the flavor…the craft. It’s like a story, from where it was grown, where it matured, to how it got here to us. Each wine has it’s own story, and it’s inviting you to see if you can find it out.”

            Interesting. “I’ll take that in mind. For now, I am just waiting for a friend.”

            “Alright sir, just wave me over if you want to try anything else.”

            He ended up waving her over a couple more times for each sipped became sweeter, and his pain lesser the more he drank. The second glass was a merlot, the third a pinot noir. The bartender was right each glass, each wine was different. The merlot was more bitter, but stronger in flavor, robust and spicy. The Riesling was sweet, light and danced on his tongue playfully. Each made him feel better, lighter…happier. For a while, thoughts of Dean and his miserable life faded to the background, hidden behind alcohol and relaxing music.

Even so he noticed that the man he was watching out for came in. He would never shrink from doing his duty, and he is here to assist Sam. Taking note where the man sat, which was a lone table to the left of him, he observed while he pulled out his phone. _He is here, nothing unusual, came in alone_ he messaged to Sam. The man was clearly nervous, given how quickly he emptied a glass as soon as he received it. Something told him that this guy was not a threat, but he could never really trust his instincts these days.

* * *

 

He saw Cas sitting at the far end of the bar when he came in. Even though he trusted Cas who had reported nothing unusual, there was still a chance that they missed something. Before coming into Cork  he sent a message to Dean telling him about this latest lead but not to worry. Surprisingly, his brother just said ‘okay’ to the whole thing. Then again, he didn’t tell him the details, so there was that. If he had, Dean would be coming in here with him. And not that Dean couldn’t be subtle in these situations, he can be, but he’s off his game as much as Cas is.

No matter, the sooner they get to the bottom of this, the sooner those two can resume whatever the hell they have. Seeing Brad seated near a window at a small table, he headed directly over, taking his time. He made he own sweep of the place, which reminded him of some of the more swanky bars in San Francisco he used to go to. Wasn’t his type of place to go to, but at least he didn’t look out of place here in his suit.

“Mr. Winchester, please take a seat,” Brad offered standing to shake his hand. Though he had a smile on, it was a nervous one. His clammy hand only reaffirmed that this guy was nervous.

The fact that he knew his surname made him very concerned. He’d used an alias at the club and hasn’t meet anyone whom he told his real name was. Cas heard it and casually took his glass to an empty seat near them. Taking a seat only after making sure his gun was one him, he looked at the owner. “So you know me.”

Brad nodded, “yes. You’re well known to several covens.”

“So you’re a witch?” he said furrowing his brow. A quick glance to Cas and his surprised expression made him in turn feel nervous. He hated witches. Not as much as Dean, but still…only rarely does things end up good for them.

“Yes, but we only deal with white magic. Nothing evil I swear!” Brad took another long drink for his wine glass. “Oh, apologies,” the man said now looking embarrassed, “I should offer you a drink as well.”

“Ah, no that’s okay, I’m not much of a wine-” but Brad held up his hand to which one of the bartenders saw and came directly over. He looked at Cas he lifted his glass and nodded, indicating it was safe.  “-but I guess I can have a glass.” Brad and the server spoke over the choices and it wasn’t long before she was gone. Once he had ordered, Brad looked over at him trying to act casual…and failing.

“I’m sorry, it’s…just you’re kinda like the bogeyman to a lot of us. And I never knew you’d be so…big.”

“Heh…well, it is kinda my job to kill monsters, demons…witches,” he smiled at the last world. Brad visibly gulped at that threat. “But…only if they deserve it.” Which was mostly true.

“Again, I assure you that I, and my coven, only deal in good, practical magic. Unlike other covens, we’re just trying to make the world a better place. Rule of Three you know.” He gave Brad an inquiring look, so he continued. “It’s like the golden rule, do unto other as you would have done to yourself. We just help with cleansings, meditation, charms and that like. We know that if any dark magic is used, it’ll grab the attention of hunters. And you and your brother Dean…well, it’s said if you two show up, it isn’t going to be for tea.”

“It isn’t. We’re here because there have been unnatural deaths in the area, all of them connected to your club,” he answered, getting to the heart of the matter.

“What?” Brad nearly yelped in surprise. “Can’t be. I had the place purified, blessed and protected. There are wards even, to keep out dark energy. Only things in there are charms to relax and, well,” Brad lowered his voice, “to increase business.”

“How?”

“Cast a spell in there, to inflame desire. Harmless I swear! I figured that if customers have a real good time, they’d come back.”

From the openness, the attitude and his gut feeling, it felt like this guy was telling the truth. And though most of his experiences have been with witches who’ve done some messed up shit, this guy was okay. And he knew there were of course good witches out there. Some have even helped them over the years. Hell, he can be considered a witch with all the spells he’d done over the years. “Okay, I believe you. But there’s something going on. Maybe something in the spell that you didn’t anticipate, or might have mistranslated?”

“I…maybe,” Brad said sheepishly. “I did that spell on my own, without my covens assistance. I worried that the Miranda might think it too selfish.” At that moment, the server came back with their glasses, to which Brad polished is first glass before taking the new one. “What happened?”

“They just…died. No reason why. One was your DJ, and another two best to our knowledge.”

Eyes gone wide, Brad looked at him at horror, “you have to believe me, I don’t know what could’ve happened.”

“But we need to figure it out. Do you know the spell? It’s ingredients?”

Nodding furiously, “of course. Anything.” At that, Brad began to quickly list off the ingredients.

“Whoa…hold on there.” He reached into his briefcase and pulled out a legal pad. “Here, write it down and any sigils and words.” Brad took the pen and pad with a flushed face and began to write. While he did, he took a sip of the wine. Crisp, a bit dry for taste, but good nonetheless. Then he noticed that Brad took out his phone and was glancing between it and his pad. “It’s on your phone?”

Looking up, “yeah. There’s a website that several covens have to communicate. Also has verified spells known to work.”

“Can I access it?”

“Sure, but you need to have a password. But here, you can look on my phone.” Offering the phone, Sam took it and scrolled through the content. The page that Brad was copying from were a scanned copy of an old book, not dissimilar from the many books back the bunker. It was in Greek this page was, and had several drawings. Taking a screen shot, he messaged it to his email so he can make sure nothing was missed.

“Cool,” he said as he handed the phone back. It was a neat idea, pooling resources online. He had a thought about making a hunters guide, to help those on the field. He’ll have to ask Charlie to help him to do that. “I’m guessing y’all have info on us on there.”

“We do actually. A coven in St. Louis put most of that info there, just your pictures and basically telling us to either cooperate or die if we ever see you. But’s not all bad. There’s a couple people, mediums really, who tell of all the good on there. Missouri I think was one…also  guy named John. Helped clear his name or something like that.”

He recalled both their faces. It’s been ages since he’d thought of Missouri, and the John/Portia case still sent chills down his back. “Yeah, I know them. So…can I count on your help to fix this?”

“Of course. I wrote my phone number and address on there,” he said handing back the legal pad. “Just please don’t kill me. I promise I didn’t mean anything bad to happen.”

He got up, “it happens. Thinking you’re doing a good thing and it backfires. We’ll fix it though.” Glancing up at Cas, the angel nodded, left a wad of cash behind and passed them heading out the door. “And if you think of anything that can help, call. We are here to help after all.”

 Texting the crossroads where he was standing, he waited patiently for Sam to come to him. A spell that inflamed desire? It would explain why he felt what he felt back at the Steam Club. The feelings he had felt, the desire to do things that he did not usually exhibit. Not that he was not aware of the baser elements of being human, he simply chose to ignore them. Even when the object of his desire, a recognition he had buried deep, was so close. His heart ached again at the rejection.

“Hey Cas. Overheard everything?” asked Sam as he strode up.

Ignoring the call of the bars to drown out his hurt, he nodded at Sam. “Yes, I did. A spell could very well be the cause of the problems.”

“Yeah, I think it’s an honest mistake though. Brad seems to be a good guy. Can’t blame him for trying to get ahead. Did you or Dean notice any wards and sigils?”

“No, but it doesn’t mean they aren’t there. And it would be prudent to ensure that such a place be well warded. I am sure an incubus would be drawn to such a place.”

Sam nodded, “I got the spell details, I say let’s head back and look this thing over.”

“Yes…but can we purchase a bottle of wine? I quite liked the ones I had.”

“Oh? How many glasses did you have?”

“Three. A shiraz, a merlot and a pinot noir. I liked the shiraz the most.”

“Damn dude, you’ve become sommelier on me. Tell you what, it’s been a while since it’s just been us to hang out. Want to grab a drink and go over this stuff here?”

“Yes, that would be pleasant,” he answered readily. The buzz he had early was weak and was already disappearing. “This establishment seems as good as any other,” he said as he opened the door. It was more of a pub, with no music being blasted overhead. Rather, it had booths lined against the walls and a couple billiard tables in the center. Most of the patrons were men, of all kind, but most were in small groups and paid no attention to them at first.

Settling in at the bar, he and Sam took the shots and then pulled out his notes. “Okay, from the look of it, it’s in ancient Greek. I recognize the depiction of Eros and Dionysus.”

Sipping at his beer, he was a bit shocked on how bitter this familiar brew now tasted after the wine. However, a drink is a drink and he’s not going to let it go to waste. Taking to the notes on the table, he peered over the spell contents that have been writing down. Thankfully, even without his angelic powers, his mind still understood all the languages both past and present. “Yes, clearly the spell is drawing from them.”

“I know Dionysus was all about having a good time, so that makes sense. But Eros? Isn’t he one of you guys?”

“Eros and cupids are often confused with each other. Eros is a demi-god, particularly of love and it’s physical aspects. Cupids are a class of angel, though they share the same name of the Roman name of Eros. Cupids deal with love as an emotion, past the physical aspect. True love, in a sense.”

            Sam took a swig and looked away for a moment before turning back to him. “What my parents had…was it true love?”

            “Yes. No one can make anyone love each other. There is no power to do that. Rather, there has to be something there already to connect the two. What the cupids exploit is that, empowering that feeling and making it known.” He chuckled darkly because it reminded him of Dean, “it is amazing how far you humans go to deceive yourselves.”

            “To be fair Cas, I think it goes beyond just us humans. You’re human too remember?”

            “You don’t need to remind me.”

            “Sorry,” though Sam hardly looked like he was. He pulled out his phone and handed it to him. “What can you make out of this? It looks like a simple enough spell really, but Greek isn’t my best.”

            Looking over the images, he took the pencil and began writing the translation. Doing so, he summarized it to Sam. He could write, translate and talk at the same time, something that Dean said made him uncomfortable. ‘Genius nerd’ was what the man said with a sneer, so he refrained from doing that at the bunker. Here though with just Sam, he felt no need to appease the larger brother. “It is an invocation for Eros to embolden the heart’s desire, in this case, lust specifically. Dionysus is called to loosen what is best translated as ‘imposed limits’, which I guess is equivalent to ‘hang-ups’ in today’s vernacular. In exchange, the caster invites both gods to feed off the ecstasy generated.”

            “So it boils down that the spell makes everyone horny and an exhibitionist and these gods feed off that? Do we need to gank these guys?”

            “No. The gods themselves are not involved. The power of the belief in the spell and the tribute is all that is needed to activate the spell. It can undone.”

            Sam was looking over his own notes, “but no reason why these guy are dying?”

            “We’d need to check and verify, but at first glance, no. I do not see anything directly tying this spell to the deaths.” He sighed, feeling that they had hit a dead end for the moment. Finishing his beer, he waved the bartender for another. “Of course, there are a number of possibilities. Manipulating human emotions is very difficult to manage, even among the angels. Hence the reason for the cupids, they specialized in that. And there could be unintended consequences when a spell is improperly enacted. Or the victims had something special marking them that we have yet to discover.”

            “If Brad says is true, can’t be a spirit or a demon. No monster I can think of has an MO of this.”

            He took a swig of his new beer, “neither can I.”A new stronger buzz was building inside him and his interest in the case was waning. He’d much rather have another drink.                          

            Sam noticed and stood up, “I’m gonna call Dean, see if he has any new stuff. You stay right here okay?”

            He nodded as he waved over the bartender again. A whisky seems good right now.

* * *

 

            After the last witness, he went to on a drive to clear his mind. All three died the same way. Not violent, not bloody or even painful. They just died. And all because of a broken heart. It didn’t seem possible, hell, it screamed ‘chick flick’! No one in the real world dies of a broken heart. They do what he and millions have done. Deal with it and move on. And it seems like these guys did. Or at least they seemed to have had dealt with it. But something changed, and it seems to point back to the club.

            But instead of focusing on the case, after this last couple, he couldn’t shake the guilt of what he had said. _It didn’t mean anything at all,_ he remembered. He said it with such conviction and such…hate, that he can still feel the pain he saw in Cas’s eyes. And now he’s acting all depressed, weak and broken. _Like he had his heart broken._ He did that. He did.

            As the night grew darker and the woods around him more judgmental, he thought of the times Cas had died. How the angel had sacrificed everything, right down to his very life, for him. Cas had died _for_ him. Now he is possibly dying _because_ of him. How can anyone cope with that?

            His phone rang and picking it up, he answered when he saw it was Sam. “Sammy.”

            “How’d the interviews go?”

            “All the same,” he replied, thankful he had someone to talk to other than his thoughts. “Just up and died.”

            “Huh…okay, that makes things a bit more confusing. I talked to the owners, specifically the newer one. Brad. He’s um….a witch.”

            Alarms went off in his head and he nearly swerved baby to head back to the city. “What! You okay?”

            “Yeah, I’m fine. I had Cas as backup. And don’t be alarmed, but he’s a good witch, like John in St. Louis.  Anyways, we’re thinking it’s a spell that might have gone wrong. Brad had enchanted the place to make it more profitable by lowering the inhibitions and increasing the pleasure. We’re looking over the spell right now, but the good news is that it’s a spell.”

            “Which means we can undo it without ganking anyone. Okay. That’s a plus for once.” Not really, cause some good old fashioned fighting for your life is a great stress reliever. And he has a lot of pent up frustration that needs to be vented. Speaking of, “how’s Cas?” he asked.

            There was a heavy silence from his brothers end before he answered. “He seems okay. He’s just playing pool and having a drink.”

            That’s normal. Having a drink, playing a game…hell, in the same instance, he’s probably be flirting with some pretty lady. Maybe whatever funk Cas was in, he snapped out of. “Okay, where y’all at?”

* * *

 

 

             

            Three glasses of wine, three shots of whiskey, four beers and one tropical concoction a nice man bought for him down the bar. The man was very nice, but he declined the offer of his company. He counted exactly how much he had to drink so he can remember for future reference when he wished to become intoxicated. Or was it two beers? He couldn’t quite recall since he believed himself to be truly intoxicated. Sam admonished him for drinking so much in the small time span he was outside, but he just smiled brightly at the tall man.

            Sam rolled his eyes at him but there was a small grin on his face. “Just pace yourself Cas. I’m going to look over the notes and see what I can find out over at that both. Oh, and I’m gonna order some food. Hungry?”

            “No, but thank you. I think I’m gonna go and ‘mingle’.”

            “Okay…just, just don’t go anywhere…hold on,” Sam asked as he reached for hos phone. Looking at the caller, he swiped to answer it, “hello?” Nodding to the voice on the other side, he looked over at Cas and pointed to the door, indicating he was going outside.

            Giving assurances he wouldn’t he walked over to the pool table as Sam made for the door. He had observed the brothers play for a while. To him, it was a game of simple physics, well, to him as an angel. As a human, he didn’t know how’d good he would be, especially in an intoxicated state. Lining up the balls and grabbing a queue, he positioned himself to set the first strike when an attractive woman came up to him.

            “Hey there, mind if I join?”

            Looking over the woman with her dirty blond hair, bright red lipstick with matching miniskirt, she didn’t appear to be a person who usually played pool. Appearances alone don’t indicate how good a player it though. “That’s fine,” he smiled graciously stepping aside so she can have cut the pack. “Ladies first’ was chivalry holdover that Dean insisted must be followed. Taking her own queue from the wall, she passed close to him so he can smell her rose perfume. As she bent over, she grazed his leg with her hips. Lining up a shot, she struck hard and fast as a loud crack sounded the beginning of the game.

            “Stripes,” she called out as two stripped balls sank into the holes. “So what brings you here tonight stranger?”

            Her green eyes distracted him for a moment before he looked back at the table. “The alcohol,” he stated as he lined up his shot.

            A light laughter emanated from her, “you’re funny. I think you and your buddy are the only straight guys here.” She looked over at Sam, “he is straight right?”

            “To my knowledge,” he affirmed.

            She smiled at him even wider, almost predatory, “that’s refreshing. Being the fag hag for my gaggle of gays usually means I go without. And boy, have I been without.”

            “Without what?

            “Oh now you’re just being coy.” She replied seductively. “What’s your name stranger?”

            “Cas is what my friends call me.” The few he has left at least. Lining up his shot, he took a moment to look at the table then back to her. She did have a nice body, he’ll grant her that.

            “Can I be your friend Cas?” she asked as she made her way behind him. A soft touch and warm hand caressed his lower back, causing him to stumble his shot which went wild. “Oh…didn’t meant to distract you,” she lied as she pouted her lips.

            “It is…alright,” he replied, becoming uncomfortable with her forwardness. If he were Dean, he knew that he would probably say something equally frivolous and sexually suggestive. He glanced over at Sam, who wasn’t paying attention to him at all as his attention was focused on the case. “I believe it is your shot.”

            “So it is” she replied as she passed close to him again, this time running her hand across his abdomen as she passed. Taking her time to set up her shot, she made sure that he could see how well she controlled her body. Winking at him, she lined a shot and another ball disappeared into the socket. Leaning back, she patted her queue. “Some men don’t know how to use a big stick like this. But I do…” and to prove her point, she again came near him and bent over to take another shot. No balls went into the sockets, but she only feigned pouting as she pressed close to him. “Can you get a girl a drink Cas? I might go easier on ya if you did.”

            And so he did, after asking what she wanted. How a drink become to be called ‘sex on a beach’ is beyond him, but she allowed him a sip of it when he delivered it to him. He knew she was being flirtatious with him, and though he wasn’t interested, it was distracting. Perhaps he might even have sex with her. Sex is always a good distraction. She beat him handily, but she got him a drink to bribe him into another game. That was after they had a ‘victory shot’ that left him even more inebriated.

“I think you’re pretty,” he slurred as he missed a ball again. She slinked over to him again. As the game went on, she got closer and closer to him.

            “Aw, shucks Cas, you know how to make a lady blush” she whispered in his ear before nibbling at it. “You know, I think my boys left me to go dance at the club. Maybe we should go out and have some fun too.”

            “I don’t know how to dance,” he confessed, though he’s not opposed to learning how.

            “Oh, you are something else,” she said as she gently took his wrist and laid down her cue. “C’mon, let’s go and have some fun.” Not resisting, he looked over to where Sam was supposed to be, only to see the seat still empty.

            “Wait…,” he asked, “I need to tell Sam I am leaving.”

            “And thoughtful! God, you are a rare one.” She remarked as she lessened her grip, but still did not let go. “But I think he’s just out the door, we’ll see him on the way out.” And before he could protest, they were already exiting the pub.

            “Cas?” asked Sam as he put his phone away into his pocket. “Where are you going?”

            “Dancing, I think,” he said looking over at the woman. “This…uh,”

            “Melanie,” the woman supplied.

            “Melanie is, uh, we’re going to dance?” he asked both addled by the alcohol that was again hitting his system.

            “Oh yeah, we’re gonna dance alright,” she cooed at him while batting her lashes at Sam.

            “Right…well, um, I think you should stay here Cas.”

            “Why? I have protection with me,” he said to the tall man who seemed to be wavering. In fact, the whole street seemed to be wavering.

            “Actually Cas, you should stay with me.” Sam said in a deeper voice than usual before he reached out and touched his shoulder. “We’re still working you know.”

            His head swam, lost in a blurry haze of alcohol, “but I want to go dance.” Leaning in closer to Sam so he can whisper, “but I think she wants sex.” Saying the word ‘sex’ made him smile and giddy. He had had sex. Multiple times. He liked it. He would like more of it.

            “No Cas. You have to stay here. Dean’s coming.”

            That name made his sudden euphoria fall immediately into melancholy. A sickening feeling washed over him as he began to sweat and shake a bit. Distantly he heard someone say his name before it all became too bright and too loud.  He felt strong hands guide him quickly and made him lean over, but he didn’t puke. Instead, he painfully and loudly dry heaved, and each shudder made him feel colder. And over and over in head, the words ‘ _it didn’t mean anything Cas’,_ making his heart, and stomach heave. Fear and self-loathing overwhelmed his carefree time fast and hard.

* * *

           

Glad he had his hand on Cas already, he was able to keep his friend upright was he nearly keeled over. Cas was drunk but man, he’d never seen a happy drunk became a train wreck so fast. Melanie made a face and abandoned them heading back inside to no doubt ply her charms on some other man.  Cas was dry heaving, but nothing was coming up, which normally would be a bad thing, except for now. The man could probably do some good getting most of that alcohol out of his system. And he felt bad, because it was partially his fault. He was supposed to keep an eye out and he failed. Dean’s sharp words were something he could already hear.

            “C’mon Cas, let’s get some water in you and some real food, and you’ll feel better.” He ran his hand in soothing circles on Cas’s back, trying to relax him. ‘That sound good?”

            “This is not like last time,” Cas basically whimpered putting a hand against the nearby wall to support him. Quiet as his voice was, there was something…broken in it. “It hurts Sam,” Cas said, trying to stand up after couple of moment.

            Panicked, he turned the ex-angel toward him and examined him as he held Cas by his shoulders. “What? Where?”

            “Dean,” Cas said, still wavering. “I’m a disappointment, I don’t mean anything to him.”

            Oh no. He looked at Cas’s bloodshot eyes and saw the tremble in his lips. Cas was one of _those._ The All-Over-The-Place drunk. Giddy and happy a minute ago, now he’s a complete mess. And all because he said ‘Dean’. God, he inwardly slapped himself, that was stupid of him. “Aw, that’s not true Cas. You mean a lot to him!”  

            “No I don’t! Without my powers, I’m useless!” Cas bleated out. Blinking rabidly, the ex-angel rubbed his throat, “I…I need something to drink.”

            “I think you’re done drinking for the night Cas,” he said leading him back to the street. They should head back to the room pronto. “I’m gonna wave done a cab, get my stuff and we’re heading back to the motel.”

            “But I wanted to go dancing,” the other man whimpered as he leaned against him for balance.

            “No,” he replied sternly as he waved for a cab. One was quick to come over and he opened the door. “Okay, in you go,” he said as he directed the wobbly man inside. After he spoke to the driver to wait, he went in, threw some money down and grabbed his stuff before coming into the cab himself. Giving directions to the driver, he pulled out his phone and messaged Dean they were heading back. Didn’t say why cause Dean would just yell at him, and that’s not what he wanted to hear at the moment.

            As soon as he his sent, an unknown number called him. Thinking of who it could be and coming up short, he hit answer curious. “Hello? Sam Winchester?” a matronly voice came over the line.

            “Yeah?” he replied warily.

            “Hello! I am Brad’s coven leader, Miranda.” The name he recalled from the conversation earlier.

            “Oh! Yes, this is Sam.”

            “I do apologize for what has happened here. We had no idea that Brad had cast such a spell over the place. I wanted to assure you that I am heading over there right now to undo it.”

            Eyebrows shot up, “you can do that?”

            “Of course, I am the leader of my coven you know. And as such, I will make sure that Brad is properly punished.”

            Punished? The word lead him to bloody outcomes, at least where punishments are concerned. “What are you going to do to him?” he asked with a steel tone.

            “Nothing lethal if that’s what you’re worried about. Or even physical. I’m nocking him down to a novice, restricting his magic use and financial fines. Heavy ones. I know it’s not going to make up for the lives lost, but why bring more death?”

            Dean was going to not take that well, but he had to agree. Killing Brad, or the rest of the coven isn’t going to solve anything really. And nothing is going to bring those people back either. It’s a no-win situation, but it’s better than killing innocents. “I won’t say it’s fair, but it’s a good start. So you can lift he spell, what about those effected already?”

            There was a soft sigh from the other end, “I’m afraid I can’t do anything about that dear. The spell was meant only for sacred rituals between loved ones. Once the heart is stirred up, it cannot rest until it is complete. Now in general, this wouldn’t result in heartbreak _unless_ it was a soulmate. Soulmates are made up of each other, and once acknowledged, can never be sated. Hence the deaths. Soulmates are rare though, real soulmates. Odds are, there’re weren’t anymore. And if there was, then hopefully, they are together. Otherwise, the spell will fade naturally.”

            Looking over at Cas, who watched the streets go by with glossy eyes, he wondered if it would fade. A gut feeling said no, it wouldn’t. “Thanks. But lets say someone who had a soulmate, and was rejected, how long would they last?”

            “Rejected? That’s almost impossible to conceive! I…I do not know. My guess is as good as yours, depends on the person I’d say. I…hmmm, I’d never heard of a soulmate rejecting its partner. It’s…unnatural.”

            “You have no idea how much weird we run into ma’am.”

            “I’ll pass on taking a guess. But truly, the only way to save this person is to reconcile them wit their soulmate. And as quickly as possible. Doesn’t have to be flashy or anything, just even an acknowledgment that they love them should bring him out of downward spiral.”

            He nodded, already thinking on how to fix this. “Thank you Miranda. Let me know how it turns out.”

            “Will do,” Miranda affirmed before hanging up.

            Again he looked over at Cas, wondering how the hell his friend fell so hard for his brother. Not that he was blind, Cas and Dean were something else entirely when they worked with each other. More often than not, he felt like he was a third wheel to Dean and Cas. When it’s him and Cas, their dynamic is one of friendship, to seasoned warriors with synergy. But when Cas is with Dean, its way deeper than that. Cas literally throws himself in harm’s way to keep Dean safe, without thought of his own safety. Dean in his turn, will fight with abandon to defend Cas, but won’t lift a finger to actually hurt him when he was the enemy. And when they aren’t in a fight…well, they ‘talk’ without talking. “Cas…you okay?” he asked.

            “I am alright, just…wondering what it felt like.”

            “Like what felt like?” Sam wondered.

            “How it was to be Anna before she got her grace back.” Cas said looking down at the seat. It was leather, smaller than the Impala, but just as comfy, “how it was to feel to be loved.” The memory of Anna and Dean came back to him from long ago. All he did was make an ‘oh’ face.

            Before he knew it, they reached their motel and after paying the cab, he guided Cas back into the room. “Okay man, just have some water and aspirin,” he twisted the cap off as he handed a bottle to Cas, “and lie down.” As Cas seated himself on his bed, he pulled a garbage bin next to the bed. “And if you’re gonna hurl, there’s this.”

            Cas smiled, swinging back to a happy drunk, “thank you Sam! You’re so nice.” Just swallowing the medicine after a small sip of water, Cas tried to untie his shoes, only to miss his own feet by a mile. He almost fell onto the floor if he hadn’t caught him again and gently pushed Cas to lie back. He was just about done taking the shoes off when he heard a familiar rumble. Swearing under his breathe, he looked sharply at Cas, “don’t you move. I’ll talk to Dean.” Cas might be drunk happy at the moment, but there was only one way to really fix this.

* * *

 

            Sam came out the door before he had even left the driver’s seat. He closed the door behind him and had his ‘don’t get mad I gone done something stupid look.’ Great, more drama. “Whatcha hiding there Sam? Finally brought a girl back?” he chided.

            “Ah…no. Cas is kinda plastered.”

            “And you’re let him?” he ask incredulously as he paced back and forth in front of the Impala.

            “And say what Dean, that drinking is not a great coping mechanism? Cause you’re the paragon of moderation.” Sam, as always had a point. He also realized that the Sam had sneakily duped him into a ‘feelings’ talk. “I don’t know exactly what happened, but somehow the spell affected him differently. Miranda thinks it might be because of him being a soulmate…”

            “Whoa there, back up. How’d we get from Cas getting drunk to soulmates?”

            ‘While we were out, Miranda, who’s the coven leader, called me. She’s undoing the spell and making sure that Brad is punished. Who, I might add, turned himself in. Anyway, she thinks that the spell is really in fact harmless _unless_ you’re a soulmate. Which in itself isn’t so much a bad thing as it is rare, it would only strengthen the bond. In these peoples cases, it was because their soulmate had either passed on or rejected them. Remind me Dean, how did the victims die?”

            “Ah…well, um” he found a frog stuck in his mouth for some reason. Was it because Sam can connect the dots and see what is happening? Or was it more likely because he didn’t want to connect the dots himself. “They…died of a broken heart, if you can believe it,” he said lightly trying to play it off.

            “I see. Well, a broken heart _is_ a real medical condition Dean,” Sam said in tone so serious it gave him goosebumps. “If that’s the case, then I can think of a way to fix Cas.”

            “How?” he asked stupidly.

            “Really Dean? Do I have to spell it out to you?” Sam sighed, “look, I don’t know why Cas is being effected specifically, but it doesn’t matter now. You two are just gonna have to make up.”

            “Make up?”

            “Yes. Make up. As in apologize for being an ass to him. Tell him you’re sorry.” There was a pause, “tell him you love him basically Dean.”

            “Love him? Sam, yeah, he’s like a brother to us, but I don’t love him. Not like that.” Those last words ran untrue to him, and probably to Sam.

            “Ah…well, I wasn’t saying you did. I’m…you know what, I am. You do love him like that Dean.”

            Anger coupled with fear rose up in him by being called out, “the hell I do Sam. I’m not gay.”

            “Didn’t say you were Dean. And I don’t presume to know what is between you and Cas, but, and I quote ‘Dean and I have a more profound bond’. He _clearly_ admires you and your opinion matters most to him. Rejection of him from you sent him in a tailspin Dean. All I’m saying, is say you appreciate him, love him, and that all that and it might snap him out of the funk the spell caused.”

            Letting the words sink in, he knew what Sam said was the best course of action. But they both knew he absolutely sucked at these emotional talk things. Especially when it came to people he actually cared about. Still, he had to keep some level of manliness about this. “Fine. He in there?” he asked pointing in the room.

            “Yeah,” Sam answered stepping aside. “I’m gonna…go for a walk or something.”

            “You do that,” he gulped as he looked at the door.  

            “Cas?” he asked quietly as he opened the door as he heard Sam’s feet on gravel grow ever farther. Peeking into the room, he noticed that the beds were empty and no one was in sight. Alarmed, he opened the door fully and saw that the bathroom door was open. Closing the main door, he walked briskly to the room, only to see Cas leaning over the toilet leaning on it with one hand, while the other had his previously unopened whisky in the other. “Aw shit,” he lamented as he rushed over to check on the ex-angel.

            Looking blearily at him, Cas lost his balance and toppled into the corner. “Dean?” the man asked as tried to lift the bottle to his lips again.

            “You’re done for the night,” he said hotly as he took the bottle away from the drunk. Dammit Sam, he’d gotten more drunk alone. New rule. Never let Cas drink unsupervised.

            “But I want more…” Cas said unhappily even as his arms flopped to his sides.

            “No more Cas.”

            “You’re mad-” Cas whimpered as he looked at him with watering eyes. Oh shit, Cas better not loose the waterworks on him.

            Putting the bottle beside the sink, he kneeled down to face level. “I’m not mad Cas, but this here is a stupid thing. You’re drunk enough. You don’t need to drink anymore or you’ll poison yourself.”

            Cas blinked at him, but didn’t seem to really see him. God, he was way out drunk. “I need to urinate.” Trying to steady himself with the lip of the tub and the toilet, Cas tried to push himself up but his legs were, literally, undermining him from doing so. Knowing that it is a real that he might piss himself, he just reached under Cas’s arm to lift him up himself. After what seemed an eternity, he had Cas up and facing the right direction. He was the main support but at least Cas was standing (mostly) on his own, even if one arm was slung over him.

            But, even so, Cas seemed to have a hard time unzipping himself and Dean cursed Sam for leaving him with this mess. Steeling himself, he maneuvered Cas to stand on his own as he unzipped Cas and guided one clammy hand to its owners junk. Even with his help, Cas was way too drunk to even hold his own dick, let alone aiming it right. Again cursing Sam, he pulled it out and just ground out to Cas to just piss. When the man was done, he thought he may as well take this all the way.

            Not even tucking it back in, he looked at Cas. “Strip, you’re gonna take a cold shower. That should wake you up.” He backed away slowly, loosening his grasp to see if he could stand on his own. By some miracle, Cas did indeed stay upright and was even beginning to take off his shirt. As Cas undressed, he jingled with the knobs to get the water warm, at least warm enough to nor get hypothermia. When the water was the right, he looked over and say that Cas was completely nude. This time, it didn’t even phase him and he had to admit, Cas is one good looking man. “In you go,” he commanded as he opened the curtains fully.

            A gasp escaped from Cas as he stepped under the stream, but his eyes were wide and he looked more aware in that split second. He stood by, watching Cas just stand, doing nothing. Until they locked eyes, blue with running water cascading down meet his own and he relented, just a tiny bit, by smiling ever so slightly. Cas had two modes, serious and confused usually, but right now, he felt _affection_. Genuine affection, an innocent unhindered affection for him. So yeah, this was a shitty situation, weird on top of that, but even drunk, Cas still cared for him. _‘He always will,’_ a voice that sounded like Sam spoke to him in his mind.

            “Can…can I have some clothes?” asked the naked man as he shivered.

            “Yeah…be right back,” he answered as he went to get Cas’s bag. A bag with his clothes because he doesn’t have the mojo to clean his one suit anymore. Because Cas _chose_ to stay with them. With him. That idea made his pissy attitude dissolve even further. Cas gave up everything, right down to his very angelhood, for him and what was he doing to show gratitude. Nothing, that’s what. Grabbing a t-shirt and some boxers, he also grabbed a towel from the rack as he entered the bathroom. “Turn off the water dude,” he said as he opened the towel wide. Obediently, Cas did so, his movements shaky but more controlled, as he stepped out of the tub and into the towel. Handing it off, he told Cas to dry himself as he went back to the room.

            Going over to the bed Cas had claimed for himself the night before, he pulled back the sheets. The cot can go to hell he mused as he went over to his bag and began to prepare for the night. One thing Sam thinks he sucks at is ‘talking about his feelings’ and there’s a good reason why. He knows he sucks at words. Actions on the other hand. They’ve always spoke louder than words. Slipping into the made bed, he waited for Cas to come out. Hopefully this plan, which wasn’t really a plan than it was a play by ear, worked.

            Under his own power and only barely wobbling, Cas entered the room. Seeing him in bed, Cas squinted his eyes and tilted his head. “You’re in bed?”

            “Yup,” he replied as he patted the empty space next to him. “Think you need some shut-eye and god knows I need some too.”

            “I…I should take the cot, Sam’s too big for it.”

            “Sam’s too big for everything. And no, you’re not. Come here.”

            “But you’re in it?”

            “And?” he smiled, trying to charm Cas. Charm Cas. Good god, is he really one board with this? “I got it warmed up for you.” Apparently, yes, he was on board with this.

            There was hesitancy in Cas’s face, but he eventually came over to his side of the bed. Scooting himself to the colder side, he let Cas occupy the space he was just in. A soft sigh emanated from the ex-angel as he pulled the covers over himself. Reaching over Cas, he turned off the lamp next to the bed and positioned himself directly parallel behind Cas, who had moved to his side, his back to him.

            “You know Cas, I do, um, care about you. A lot.” He took a deep breathe. “I need you,” he said quietly, not believing that he was uttering those words again. But it wasn’t desperation that he said them like last time in the crypt. “I need you,” he said louder, catching Cas’s attention by the way his breathing hitched. “I need you…like I need Sam, or Bobby…cause, well, you’re family.”

            “I appreciate that Dean.” Cas murmured to the empty space between beds..

            “Cas,” he said softly, “you’re family but no like…uh, family.”

            “Not family?” Cas blinked as he turned over to face him, confused.

            Mentally hitting himself, he went on, “no, you’re family…but, different.” Fuck! This is hard. “Like, um, not like a brother, or father….closer?”

            Squinting his eyes, Cas still looked confused. Hell, he look more confused and it was incredibly adorable...but annoying. “I do not follow.”

            “I love you okay!” he admitted finally at his wits end. Saying those words, especially that much hated ‘L’ word is possibly the last think he’s ever want ever coming out of his mouth, let alone to another man. In a bed togehter no less. The wonder that he even did gave him pause as he realized he actually said it. Love. To Cas.

            Cas, who was seemed even more confused than ever but…changed. He was alert, the inebriation of his near overdose gone as the air around them changed. There was a longing, a hope that was calling out from Cas. A hope so forlorn, it was near impossible to imagine.  “You…love me?”

            “Yeah…I kinda do…I mean, I dunno, it’s hard to figure out alright? I…just don’t want you to die okay?”

            “Die?”

            “Sam got a call from the head witch here. She knows what is happening.”

            “What is happening Dean…this is all…irregular for you. You never admit your emotions.” Cas was beginning to sound defensive, disbelieving even. “How am I dying?”

            “Fuck,” he murmured to himself shaking his head, dismayed that Cas wasn’t believing him. “The spell. It has a…drawback. It doesn’t work if you’re a soulmate,” he cringed at the word, “if you’re soulmate isn’t with you. Or…rejects you.” He looked back at Cas, “otherwise you’d become so brokenhearted…you’d die.”

            Cas looked at him, all traces of him being drunk gone replaced with the punishing scrutiny of his eyes, like if they were trying to see if this was truly reality. “We, as in you and I, are soulmates?”

            “I don’t know!” he said aloud even though he yearned to say yes. “I…don’t know man. I ca-, no, I love you Cas. I do. I care. A lot…for you.”

            “And I you, but…” Cas looked out the window, “are you just telling me this because you think it will save me?” A pause as he saw a shadow of doubt fly across Cas, “do you honestly think we’re soulmates?”

            For some reason, a cold stab went through his heart. Cas doesn’t believe him. Maybe he is too late? That Cas is too far gone for him to be saved? That because of his stupid pride and fear that the only friend he has ever had, ever known going to die? “I know I suck at this Cas, but you gotta believe me!” He reached out and forced Cas to face him, “I fucking love you alright! I love you so damn much that every time you die, every time you disappear, I think it might be the last and it fucking breaks my heart. I can’t believe that no person, angel or whatever, would _willingly_ die for me! Me! I started the apocalypse! I sold my soul and became a demon! Me, Dean Winchester, the only thing that I’m good for is killing and getting everyone else killed. Including you! So believe me Castiel, when I say, I LOVE YOU,” he ranted before he smashed their mouths together.

            This kiss was not like the other. That one back at the club was mindless passion, born of lust. It was good. Nice even. But this? This kiss was _more._ Kissing. He is kissing Dean, who is trying desperately to make him kiss back. The darkness that had swelled inside him during the ride lessened by the light of joy this kiss made him feel. Lessened, but not gone. Dark whispers of doubt still echoed in his head, but his heart...it yearned and it _hurt._  Can he risk this? Risk being rejected again? What if the spell is lifted and this was just a part for Dean to play to break it? He can’t go through…he can’t do it.

            He back away from Dean, breaking the kiss and immediately missing the warmth the man brought. “Not again…I can’t…no…” he sputtered as he backed to the very edge of the bed.

            “Cas…honest to god, I mean this, please….this…I” Dean leaned back away from him, shaken. “I can’t lose you Cas. I can’t. Not you too.”

            “You’ll have Sam,” trying to console Dean, trying to make the man recognize where his priority will always be.

            “Sam…I love Sam. And I love you too! Can you understand that Cas? I love Sam, he’s my brother, but you’re…you! You saved me more times than I can count, you raised me from hell dammit! And, I don’t know how many times I gotta say it Cas, but I love you! I…want to be _with_ you cause you’re you. No other reason.”

            “You’re just saying this because you want to lift this spell…we, can’t be soulmates Dean. I don’t have a soul.”

            “Now you’re wrong there Cas. You have a soul…grace, whatever. You’re you! Maybe not a human soul, but you have one, I know you do. So don’t spin that bullshit with me Cas. Soul or not, I still love you.”

            “But…you we’re disgusted with me Dean. The last time we kissed, you hated it. I…it sickened you.”

            Dean exhaled loudly, looking guilty, “back there Cas…I, I wanted it too okay? I wanted to kiss you so badly, hell, I wanted to do more. The spell works two ways remember? When you were getting blown, I got so turned on by it…I…I wished it was me. And when we kissed them, it felt right didn’t it?” Dean looked at him with glistening eyes, tears threating to come out, “you felt it too? Please tell me you did because I did?”

            The warmth, their tongues dancing with each other. Dean’s hand on his back as he lightly touched those strong shoulders. But deeper, in the place where he grace once hummed, he felt _life_ again. Bright and warm, it eclipsed any physical sensation and was transcendent. “I…did,” he confessed, feeling free from the darkness, for the first time in days.

            “Then it has to be true Cas, because we,” Dean pointed his finger at him then himself, “we belong with each other. You and me. Hell, Heaven and Purgatory, we’ve always had each other’s back.” Dean scooted closer to him again, “and I’ll be damned if I lose you again. So, again Castiel, I love you and I want you.” This time, Dean gently cupped his face before moving in to kiss him. And he let him, letting himself be guided in, let his lips part as their lips met…he invited that warmth, that joy to come back.

            And it came rushing back as Dean deepened the kiss, dragging him closer to him to the point that he was covered by the man. One kiss became two, two became three and each one drove the darkness out more. A rough hand slid under his shirt as his own tugged lightly at blond hair at Dean’s neck. Needing to breathe, he inhaled deeply, smelling the musk of Dean, full of leather and gun oil. As he let the scent sink in, he understood that Dean was his. _His._ He was given himself to him as he was, a step so immense but so happy that it was no trouble at all. In fact, the only thing he could think was why they didn’t do this sooner.

            Euphoria gripped them both, passion long held back by them both, they didn’t really know what to do more than just kiss. As he felt the heat of the body next to him build, he inched closer till it was he didn’t know where he ended and Dean began. Yet…it wasn’t erotic, pleasurable yes, but the intent wasn’t sex. Sex was meaningless to him really. It was the act of love that meant more to him. As their eyes grew heavy, their arms relaxed, and in no time flat, they were asleep, smiling in each other’s arms.

* * *

           

Hole in the wall bars are a dime a dozen, especially in a big city. So he chatted, drank a bit and made some cash while he waited for the two knuckleheads have talk. Granted, he should be a bit more worried, but he’s had enough of those two skirting around each other. It was something he’d probably never really comprehend fully, but seriously, if Bobby, Ellen, Kevin, Charlie…just about everyone can see it, imagine _living_ with them. So as he walked back to the room, two hundred dollars richer, he was prepared to see anything. Be it a broken Cas, which hoped wasn’t the case, or a pissed off Dean, which was usually the case. Maybe they were just fuming in silence. Or passed out. Either or.

            But as he stood in the doorway, this he did not expect, not in a million years. Mouth agape, he saw as his brother and best friend cuddled with each other. Dean was the big spoon, one arm stretched under Cas’s head, which was snuggled into the crook of Dean’s shoulder. They were face to face, Cas’s arms lost under the sheets (where he never wanted to know why) as Dean’s other arm tightly bound Cas to him. As the scene registered to his mind, his first thought was ‘WOW, they actually worked it out.’ The second, was of course naturally, take a picture to blackmail Dean when he wakes up.

 

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
